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Okay these beliefs sound ridiculous but it kept them in harmony with the planet, it preserved the natural balance of things, it held them in check and allowed them a general happiness that smart society will never have. The positives that the beliefs of the stupid far outweighed the negatives.
The smart: A-Bomb, Aids, Tooth Decay, Killer satellites, Global wars, massive famine, the positives don’t matter when we don’t have a planet to live on.
This shit begins with you. As I am part of the global “YOU” I will start with my beliefs.
• I believe we should sell the Vatican and feed some people.
• I believe in immediate decimalization of all drugs
• I believe in turkey sandwiches (they are a good thing)
• I believe in “fuck the police”
• I believe in Mother Teresa
• I believe that the rich should wake up and start helping people and they have helped themselves.
• I believe “Family Circus” cartoon should be erased from existence
• I believe I hate the internet
• I believe the internet is cool
• I believe that McDonalds should be put through anti-trust hearings
• I believe most high school teachers are egomaniacal assholes
• I believe women when they say they have been sexually assaulted
• I believe abortion is wrong
• I believe in a women’s right to choose
• I believe in giving that homeless guy a quarter. So what if he is using it for mouthwash. You ever sleep in your own puke.
• I believe the #1 issue facing the world is poverty
• I believe all governments are evil and routinely kill for their own purposes
• I believe Elvis is dead
• I believe Elvis was king of nothing
• I believe Kennedy is dead (This is Zaputer, not George Lucas)
• I believe cats, dogs, (yes kittens and puppies) are a viable food source
• I believe in farting in public
• I believe music is freedom
• I believe that statements like “music is freedom” mean nothing
• I believe that music should be free (how can you own a musical note)
• I believe in Jesus Christ died for our sins
• I believe Jesus is a rebel who is going to kick some ass when he comes again
• I believe in dinosaurs
• I believe that some violence is good (kicking a cop in the ass)
• I believe in free speech (yes, including all the white supremacists, right to kiddie sexers and Dr Laura)
• I believe that Swiss Chalet has the best fries on the planet.
• I believe Porn is good and bad
• I believe I should shutup
• I believe you should try and make me.
• I believe in Chicken
• I believe the McChicken is a planetary scourge
• I believe in public nudity (but not for all)
• I believe the Queen of England is a waste of skin, along with all other royalty (except Princess Leia)
• I believe that I would feel different if I was the Queen
Our beliefs may be the only things that can save us. Who am I? A smart guy who is frightenly stupid.
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Ian Bailey-Harris
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Jessica Downey | Sep 20th, 2002
Hey, ... this is going to be incredibly stupid/smart, but i just felt better about what i do/me after i read that. Thanks :)
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