Forget about right and wrong, left and right, Siskel and Ebert, Peaches and Herb, Captain and Teneille. Linking to a pre-established platform, party, stance or whatever is ...well... lazy. I want to know in your own words what you believe in. Don’t quote someone else’s work; coin a phrase or any other type of cheating. Take the time, lock yourself in a closet and examine yourself. Be your own proctologist. Take your fingers and probe. Ask yourself questions, then provide answers using the best of your knowledge, wisdom and experience. It does not matter how little you know about an issue, fuck... you are part of the human collective you must know at least something about everything. And, if for some reason you are absolutely clueless about a topic, let that be your position. Let the world know that you know nothing and this issue and it should be promoted. If you don’t care, let that be your position. “I know nothing about abortion and I don’t care” It is not important to me.
How tired are you of these bland, faceless clones spouting the same melodramatic rhetoric? The only thing really worth watching or listening to is either cartoons or porn. They are extremes of sex, violence and no one really cares what the hell they are saying because they both satisfy some primal urge that all of us have...they are exempt from critisizim. You either like porn or cartoons (or both). If you don’t you are a joyless Fuck that should be put to death.
Let your beliefs have nothing to do with facts or reason, popular or unpopular. Just let them be yours. You should occasionally read a book or two in order to ensure that you land somewhere on the playing field, but don’t be concerned with research or anything like it. Forget the name of the book and who wrote it, this is not important. Dinner parties have ruined literature, too many well read, self important, narcassistic, genuises sitting around in sport jackets poundering the motivation behind great writers who were probably either too drunk or stoned to remember what the hell they wrote. "I wrote that?”, “Sorry, too much LSD, Whiskey, heroin, hash or whatever, it won’t happen again". Take a glass coaster and gouge out the eyes of anyone who says “Salinger was really trying to summarize the adolescent angst that…” Mutilate any idiot that has the balls to presume that he knows what anyone was thinking or intending. Most people have enough trouble with the meaning behind their own actions, never mind analyzing some brilliant, dead guy who lived 50 centuries ago. Screw Shakespere…he was an asshole.
North America is a culture of nothing, concerned more with the appearance of beliefs than the conviction and commitment that go with deep seated beliefs. It is important that you think I believe. Belief is nothing more than a commodity used to sell tampons, cheese and video games.
The stupid are much more trustable that the smart. The stupid not only do not understand the bullshit behind a brilliant position they cannot pronounce the words. The stupid are simple and when they generally say something they believe they believe it. Of course quite often it is mindless drivel, but it’s honest mindless drivel.
The smart have a need to actually prove they are right, reading too many books, researching through the net, joining chat groups, even special interest groups. In doing all this stuff they forget what they actually believe in. Fuck smart people they are the ones who have fucked up this world. Hitler, Caesar, Saddam, Stalin, Marx, Washington, all those educated kings and queens. Imagine what the world would be like without those smart people. Sure there are smart people who have helped the world, but that’s only because another smart person messed something up.
Here’s the problem the term smart has become amalgamous with collection of facts instead of wisdom which has been tempered through conviction and commitment. The smart rule, rewarding themselves and punishing anyone else.
Indigenous societies full of the stupid have lived in harmony with the universe for centuries, eventually smart people found a better way that they believed in (fuckin liars) and force fed the rest of the planet. Good work smart folk you’ve doomed us.
I trust the intuition of the incredibly stupid that the benevolent intelligence of the smart. The early indigenous people didn’t know much, they killed, enslaved, raped and everything we do today. The only difference is they hung to the conviction and commitment of their beliefs. Kill only what you can eat. Eat people if you get hungry, wipe your ass with leaves, Grind up emeralds and snort them to see your animal spirit.
Okay these beliefs sound ridiculous but it kept them in harmony with the planet, it preserved the natural balance of things, it held them in check and allowed them a general happiness that smart society will never have. The positives that the beliefs of the stupid far outweighed the negatives.
The smart: A-Bomb, Aids, Tooth Decay, Killer satellites, Global wars, massive famine, the positives don’t matter when we don’t have a planet to live on.
This shit begins with you. As I am part of the global “YOU” I will start with my beliefs.
• I believe we should sell the Vatican and feed some people.
• I believe in immediate decimalization of all drugs
• I believe in turkey sandwiches (they are a good thing)
• I believe in “fuck the police”
• I believe in Mother Teresa
• I believe that the rich should wake up and start helping people and they have helped themselves.
• I believe “Family Circus” cartoon should be erased from existence
• I believe I hate the internet
• I believe the internet is cool
• I believe that McDonalds should be put through anti-trust hearings
• I believe most high school teachers are egomaniacal assholes
• I believe women when they say they have been sexually assaulted
• I believe abortion is wrong
• I believe in a women’s right to choose
• I believe in giving that homeless guy a quarter. So what if he is using it for mouthwash. You ever sleep in your own puke.
• I believe the #1 issue facing the world is poverty
• I believe all governments are evil and routinely kill for their own purposes
• I believe Elvis is dead
• I believe Elvis was king of nothing
• I believe Kennedy is dead (This is Zaputer, not George Lucas)
• I believe cats, dogs, (yes kittens and puppies) are a viable food source
• I believe in farting in public
• I believe music is freedom
• I believe that statements like “music is freedom” mean nothing
• I believe that music should be free (how can you own a musical note)
• I believe in Jesus Christ died for our sins
• I believe Jesus is a rebel who is going to kick some ass when he comes again
• I believe in dinosaurs
• I believe that some violence is good (kicking a cop in the ass)
• I believe in free speech (yes, including all the white supremacists, right to kiddie sexers and Dr Laura)
• I believe that Swiss Chalet has the best fries on the planet.
• I believe Porn is good and bad
• I believe I should shutup
• I believe you should try and make me.
• I believe in Chicken
• I believe the McChicken is a planetary scourge
• I believe in public nudity (but not for all)
• I believe the Queen of England is a waste of skin, along with all other royalty (except Princess Leia)
• I believe that I would feel different if I was the Queen
Our beliefs may be the only things that can save us. Who am I? A smart guy who is frightenly stupid.
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