|
|
Reason:
I suppose the reason why they might kill themselves could be because so much emphasis is put on getting good results in order to study elsewhere and have a future.
A talk with Candy Hilldrup - bilingual psychotherapist/psychoanalyst on why Students commit suicides if they fail in their board exams…
These are her thoughts on why students commit suicides if they fail their board exams or don't get good marks.
First, every person is unique. Therefore there are no cut and dried formulas, which allow us to understand every suicide (and worse still, be able to read the "signals" and act in a preventive way or at least "try to help").
I can only suggest certain "fragile emotional areas" which, when combined/compiled, can lead to suicide in teenagers. And as you will see, many of these are inter-related.
1. Low self-esteem, not a solid "self-image", not much inner certainty of self-worth.
2. Depression, feelings of hopeless about life, love, the future.
3. The profound desire to be "recognized", to feel important, appreciated without any hope of achieving this goal. Here we touch on the competitive element found in schools - the need to get top grades, be the best, get ahead, be recognized, prove one's worth, intelligence, etc. This drive can come from the outside in the form of parents, or be completely integrated/internalized so that the person "drives" himself, attacking himself for any grade, which is less than perfect even if the parents don't say anything. To the adolescent, "failure" at school exams, means a loss of face, humiliation, and no hope. Most teenagers have a hard time with "moderation", so a failure becomes permanent. The present is projected into the future so there is no hope
4. I would also have to say that there are feelings of deep anger and frustration, which accompany this feeling of hopelessness. A deep feeling of injustice, "that it (whatever "it" may be) is not fair" alternating with feelings of desperate helplessness. In adult suicides (which are not the result of a desire to end physical suffering due to terminal illness), we often say that "suicides are disguised murders". This means that often in suicides, one finds a hidden desire to punish someone else, to seek revenge The person (teenager or adult) often feels a combined desire to terminate their own emotional suffering while, on a hidden level, also wishing to make the "destined" person feel guilty...."Look what you made me do! My death will be on your conscience for the rest of your life. Now live with it!!" In my clinical experience, it is very, very important to get to this anger as fast as possible and to find out who is meant to be "punished (girlfriend, boyfriend, friend or often, hidden, hidden, hidden the suicide is addressed to the parents for not understanding and helping--which compounds the tragedy). I generally accompany this "interpretation" with the fact that no one can ever prevent someone else from committing suicide if that person is really determined to end his or her life--no matter how many precautions one may take. That living or dying is always a personal choice and remains an option for each of us at any time. And like no one can prevent someone else from committing suicide, no one can oblige someone else to live, go towards life. Each person must choose. However, being there at "the right time" can often help someone choose the side of life....
5. Lack of meaningful relationships: family and/or friends. When one can talk about how depressed he feels, this often helps--like somehow sharing the burden with someone who, at least, understands what he is going through even if he can't really help, helps the depressed teenager feel less alone. Anyone who even tries to commit suicide is asking for help, begging to be heard. But teenagers are especially vulnerable to depressive feelings (and all the above mentioned emotional fragile areas) because they are still in the process of defining their identity, who they are, and who they want to be. Adolescence is a very troubling time, at best, full of inner emotional turmoil and lots of contradictory feelings (like the striving to become independent while still needing the parents profoundly on many level leading to both inner and outer conflicts).
In my opinion, the conflicts (both inner and outer with family and friends, both physical and psychological) of adolescence, combined with the hormonal upheaval, and search for identity make the teenager especially susceptible to depressive feelings which can lead to suicide.
She is a bilingual psychotherapist/psychoanalyst with psychoanalytical training and is working both in a French institution with disturbed children as psychotherapist as well as having her own private practice. She studied, trained and worked at the University of Chicago with Bruno Bettelheim in the US and since coming to France, She has completed yet another degree at the Sorbonne. She has further done psychoanalytic training with Joyce McDougall, internationally well-known teaching member of the Psychoanalytical Society in Paris.
|
Tags
You must be logged in to add tags.
|
Writer Profile
Maitreyi Doshi
This user has not written anything in his panorama profile yet.
|
Comments
You must be a TakingITGlobal member to post a comment. Sign up for free or login.
|
|
