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A study published in The Journals of Gerontology concluded: "Anger has the potential to mount to a high level in caregiving situations [and] sometimes results in actual or contemplated violence." The researchers found that almost 1 out of every 5 caregivers feared he might become violent. And more than 1 in 20 actually did get violent with his patient.
"Feeling Guilty"
Many caregivers are plagued by feelings of guilt. Sometimes the guilt comes on the heels of anger—that is, it was evident in that African Documentary, they feel guilty because they feel angry at times. Such emotions may drain them to the point that they feel they can't go on.
In some instances, there is no alternative but to have the patient cared for in an institution or a hospital. This can be a traumatic decision that can wreak havoc with a caregiver's emotions.
Whether the patient is hospitalized or not, his loved ones may feel guilty that they are not doing enough for him. Said –Amani,one Tanzanian Old Friend of Mine, There may also be concern over neglect of other family responsibilities, particularly if the caregiver spends a great deal of time at the hospital or must work longer hours to help pay for mounting bills. "I have to work to help with the expenses," lamented one mother, "yet I feel guilty because I can't be at home for my children."
Obviously, caregivers have a desperate need for support, especially after the death of the one cared for.
"My most critical responsibility [after a patient's death] . . . is to alleviate feelings of guilt in the caregiver, which often go unspoken," says Dr. Fredrick Sherman, of Huntington, New York.
It is my opinion that such feelings should be exposed and shared with friends, If these feelings remain unspoken, they could be damaging to both the caregiver and the patient.
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Mugerumani
Karekoona was born in Uganda-East Africa. He is an ornithologist by profession & lives a nomadic lifestyle. He currently resides in Germany.
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