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Since that moment I couldn’t sleep normally. On Sunday I wrote a message to my mum that it was all set up and that I’m going. She cried that night on the phone like never before. My parents told me clearly that they don’t allow me to go, that I was doing that on my own account. So I went, and I took a friend with me, my greatest mistake. At first I had problems: I was underage and no attorney would write me the document I needed, but I found one some hours before the flight.
What can I say? I enjoyed flying (it was my first time). I really enjoyed watching the cities by night, much alike swarms of fireflies…I liked the airports, the people…sometimes I was thinking where in the world I was going…we traveled with the head manager, she had stayed for some months in Moldova as she was, and still is searched by the police of her country, Lithuania. A man met us in the airport in Dubai and we traveled by car to Abu Dhabi. I was trying to understand if what was happening was normal. Fear…fear was stifling me. I was worried even more when my friend was asking me things. I had a responsibility towards her. I assured her and her mother that it was safe and Ok and now we were carried to nowhere.
It was night and it was so hot, in Moldova it was February and here-24 degrees! We finally got to the house; we made ourselves comfortable, if I may say so and slept like on knife peaks. Our first day passed quickly. We were exploring the house and what do you know: no pool, no Jacuzzi, no fitness stuff…oh, we had one servant. I knew it wasn’t the place where Ana first went, but she had been here too and she didn’t tell me how it was. The only thing we could do in that house was to eat and watch TV. Girls aren’t allowed to go on the streets, only if the “owner” or how can I call him takes them out. There were 4 souls in that house: me, my friend, the manager and the servant.
The evening came. We had to get all dressed up and have a great make-up. I didn’t have appropriate clothes and the manager gave me a dress. The car came and took us to the owner’s house. Now that was some house! But I didn’t quite care. We had to stay in a room and dance like crazy until he’d want to come. But he was watching football that night. So we had a lot of drinks and the party continued. In the end he came in. We had to present ourselves, to shake hands and to smile as much as possible. Then he had a seat and we had to dance around him like prostitutes…I’m not good at it at all. I always do what I feel and I definitely didn’t feel like dancing for him. But maybe he didn’t notice but he chose me. He just said it to the manager and went back to watching his damned football. When I heard the verdict…ok, I was trying not to think of anything, not to panic, I mean I wanted it myself, I knew it had to happen, I…I started to drink desperately…and he wasn’t there yet…after some time he came to me, took me by the hand, took me in his room, I was trying to develop a conversation but he was obviously not interested. While I was alone in the room I was praying God to forgive me, I was shaking like crazy. Then everything happened. I still remember the music that was playing then.
The next days were so monotonous. We weren’t doing anything but eating all day. In the evenings we prepared ourselves but he had his football all week and let us home. That wasn’t bad at all, we didn’t mind. One day we went shopping. He gave us less money than he had to. We didn’t buy almost anything because we only had 2 hours. We went to him the last night and he did that with my friend. I can’t forgive myself every one of her tears. But I had all that strength only with the thought of the money, which, by the way we had to receive in the last day, but the manager won’t give them to us. Thoughts of cheating were making space in our heads. We were more nervous than in the first day and we feared that they would pay us some 2000$. She only gave us the envelopes in the airport then disappeared. I can’t tell how nervous we were, but how can you check your money in the middle of the airport with that luggage? We finally found a WC; it was occupied so we stayed in its hall. My friend first counted and she said: 900$. I started shaking and counted mine: 900$! My world exploded! I could hardly move…what have I done? Why did I come here? Why did I sleep with a stranger? I sacrificed all: my first time, my family, my security, my dignity…what for? What could I do with 900$? I only did what I’ve done to fulfill my dream. But these money won’t help me with ANYTHING…I would never do that for this money. Ana promised me 7000$ at least, and I promised the same to the person standing next to me. It has been even harder for her, she loved someone! And I ruined her everything…HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?
I will never forgive myself for what I’ve done to my friend. Everyday I see her I feel this enormous guilt. I assured her it would be all right and it wasn’t. I blamed Ana for what happened, if she told me the real situation I would have never gone there, and even more, taken someone with me. And it was her fault, she should have asked for sure and she didn’t but I trusted her. Now I know Ana: she’s unreliable, she troughs words in the wind, and she’s a fake.
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Comments
Thanks Joël Kalpram | Jul 11th, 2006
thanks for yah experience.
"You do have strong courage indeed"
how i sold my self jozef | Jul 11th, 2006
i do hope that Gods mercy will see you through in jesus name,pls you can reach me jozefmclaniyi@yahoo.com so we can pray together.
Be Strong Shennel | Jul 13th, 2006
Valentina I am so sorry that you had to grow through that. I hope that you are able to heal. I think that it is very brave of you to share this with us. May be your story has helped someone else in this situation. Good luck
From Moldova Eugeniu Graur | Aug 23rd, 2006
Draga Valentina,
cred ca esti o persoana dotata cu un curaj deosebit, odata ce ai impartasit aceasta istorie trista cu noi. Nu dispera, ai toata viata inainte, sper ca aceasta experienta sa te fi invatat multe si nu lua in cap tot ceea ce se spune. Esti o fata curajoasa si sunt sigur ca vei avea un viitor luminos.
Mult curaj mai departe.
P.S. citind istorioara ta m-am simtit in pielea ta, pentru ca alaturi de tine, aceleasi trairi si sentimente de disperare, de dezamagire intr-un viitor mai bun, o traiesc majoritatea tinerilor din Moldova.
Ai adresa mea si putem sa comunicam, chiar as vrea sa ma intilnesc cu tine, daca esti de acord.
Pa
Transcended Cheryl Dewitt | Jan 23rd, 2007
So much to absorb...Thank you for taking the time to rise above your shame and guilt to share your personal truth. It is the truth that makes an impression not on the brain, but in the soul of a person--their heart. It is a true privilage to hear your words of wisdom and gain insight to rise above my own mistakes. In my culture mistakes that spiritual guide you to become a better person. You are a blessing to everyone you reach through the simple act of being who you are---Where you are--nothing more or less. May peace be in your heart and lead your mind in your beliefs....Blessings
brilliant kesiena | May 6th, 2007
hey,i read your story and im not ashamed of you!im glad you had the courage to let everyone know what happened and its my hope that young women like you will tow a better path!i wish u the strength in healing and whatever else you do!ill send you a link to a popular ladies magazine in my country,will be a good lesson for young girls heretoo wishin to tow the same path..
regards.
Be Strong Amin Visram | Sep 16th, 2007
I'm really sorry to hear your story in Dubai. I didnt know about human traffic there and thank you for sharing your story with us. Your courage and very strong woman to face thru hard times. Thank you for your courage. Amin
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