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At seventeen, I can honestly say that there were times where I thought I was in love. Just the sight of that special somebody would send my stomach doing somersaults until I thought my heart would jump from my throat. It's a great feeling, looking forward to every single little moment with that person. But with time, those feelings fade and you're faced with reality when you realise that just like beauty, lust eventually fades. Sure he's still the sexiest thing I ever saw in my life, but what I thought was love revealed itself to be nothing more than an infatuation.
Looking at the various forms of media, it's easy to be fooled into thinking that infatuation is equal to love. You know the story: girl meets guy, they sleep together, face some sort of conflict, and will emerge triumphant at the end to live in a perfect relationship.
If only it could be that easy in real life. However, if that was the case, then would that love be more satisfying? About four months ago, I was watching a re-run of Seventh Heaven where the father of that dynamic family made a profound statement (of course, due to the author's short memory span, she'll be paraphrasing): 'Loving perfection is easy, but imperfection... now, that's the challenge, but in the end it's more rewarding and satisfying.' Now I ask you: What triumph is there in loving somebody if you can't love them for EVERYTHING that they are, bad included? What reward is there in a situation if that situation is too easy?
It's easy to believe that we're entitled to a perfect life with perfect relationships. Projected media perceptions have lead us to accept relationships equivalent to a sleazy flings - with no commitment - and sometimes, even no respect. It's become a cultural infection that's spreading and biting into the reality of the idealists who created such a pretty, easy picture.
I have never been a big fan of romance films and stories (except for the more twisted and perverse ones perhaps), or those cliched ideals of 'forever' and 'sealed with a kiss.' So, it may be a bit presumptuous of me to say that we all have this great fear of facing the truth, and as a result will project our wishes for an 'easy way out' onto other people - either directly or through mediums such as literature and music.
The truth of the matter is that things aren't as we hope them to be in real life. People are far more complicated than the stereotypes we create, and consequently, relationships are far more complicated. Perfection doesn't exist in our world for the simple reason that there is no unanimous view of what perfection is. People (including myself) need to realise this. We must accept imperfection and bring commitment, honesty, trust, and above all else, respect, back into our everyday interactions with people. It is only when we begin teaching our children this (after all, education isn't found only in the schools, it must also begin in the home), along with teaching the capacity to seperate idealistic fantasy from reality.
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Catarina Abreu
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Comments
LOVE IS Haythem Kamel | Jul 21st, 2003
love is to take care of some body , that cares about you
then you became one
Totally agree... Sally | Nov 6th, 2003
Our everyday life is complex but that's what makes it challenging. Yes its true that in reality there is no such thing as perfection because if there was then there's really no point in life. I also agree how youth nowadays get influenced by the media and from the message it brings about love and infatuation. Usually many shows broadcast couples going through conflicts and triumphs in the end like you said. I think that effects the youth's opinion about the issue "love." What you mentioned about mistakening infatuation for love was rational. In my perspective serveral people go through that same mistake, love is liking someone and also having them liking you back regardless your traits. But infatuation is simply a crush where one likes the other and the other may not contain the same feelings. Yes, answering your question if life was harder it'll make the results more staisfying, that's because by knowing it took alot to get what you want, it allows you to apprieciate it more. Perhaps you're correct about the fact there is no triumph if you don't truely love the person. There is no reward if everything was granted easy either. I share the same thoughts that teenagers/youth need to accept imperfection and maybe even some adults. We often take failure, or unexpected things too seriously when we all know life is never the way everyone hopes it to be. Although i agree very much with your article, different people have their own thoughts on this subject and i respect that.
Kimberley Cheung | Nov 7th, 2003
I agree with you and people need to remember that they live in reality and realize that life is not perfect. Love is also never perfect and the results are never like the endings you see in the media. Love is difficult and will not always result to what you had hoped for. Love shown in the media is always the same, they fall in love and then have a few arguments and disagreements but end up like you said, and it has given youths the wrong message and influence of love. Loving someone does not mean a simple crush but is more which you are unable to explain. I agree with your idea that teenagers need to accept the imperfection of life and they need to come back to reality in which they live in. Other people
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