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In Hollywood, having second wife or husband, getting divorced, and living in commonlaw marriage is norm. Newspapers appear very excited to report the news of such activies among celebrities. Elton John married his long time partner David Furnish in England at the same spot Prince Charles wed Camilla Parker. They took advantage of Britain's new legislation to make civil partnerships between same-sex couples legal.
Same sex marriage is becoming official and legal in country after country. Regardless of religious leaders’ advice and conviction of followers of different religions on marriage, it seems that marriage as institution is changing its direction, getting corrupted and losing its reputation.
Healthy community life is an essential and very important feature of life on earth as a human being. Human beings, defined as simple-minded people, are social animals who need social interaction and communication. And marriage plays great and core role in building valuable community dynamics. Besides the physical and emotional satisfaction it delivers, marriage has tremendous impact on societal and political development and the make up of every community in the world. Beyond all other reasons, marriage is a sacred and holistic approach towards life on earth.
Nevertheless, today, the situation is different. In many countries to live outside marriage is becoming common. Divorce and single parentism, solitude life, and other alternative approaches to conventional marriage are becoming the norm. Societies' and individuals' way of perceiving marriage, as in days gone by, is shifting to a different and disappointing end due to the consequences of those many couples who started their journey in a wedlock and ended up in broken houses.
These consequences are warnings and lessons that the wise may learn, but they should not necessarily induce fear to shun away from marriage. As a famous Ethiopian proverb describes this situation: One should not escape sleep from the fear of having a dream. Though one may fear dreams, and whatever consequences dreams can cause, it should be a must to sleep.
Why people prefer to live with breaking the covenant they originally entered into with their partners puzzles people like me, who do not have any experience in this regard. This created not only frustration but also insecurity in many people's minds who are on the outside, and make them think so deeply and long before they consider doing it. Thinking deeply and long may yield nothing, unless supported by courageous and risk-bearing moves.
Besides the sarcastic jokes we hear, the tragedies we observe, and the fruits we have seen; life goes on, and people keep on marrying people. Beyond the many conceptual and idealistic definitions and concepts of marriage explained by thinkers and great personages on earth, one can easily tell from observing one’s surroundings that people marry people for various reasons.
Why do people get married, may be the original question? Is it to satisfy their selfish interests and desires [money, emotions, and the like]? Is it to get proper recognition and status from the community they belong to? Is it to avoid excessive pressure from immediate family and relatives? Is it to spend the rest of one’s life with the one whom one dearly loves? Is it to avoid loneliness? Is it because one needs someone who shares one’s burden on everything? Is it to establish a foundation for the next generation and give assurance of the continuity of life on earth to infinity? Why do they do it?
The very interesting feature of marriage at this point of time is that it has added a different approach and color. People start ‘marrying same-sex’, and claim for the respect of their relationship rights in their respective communities as credible and legitimate covenant. This condition puts the character and definition of marriage in dilemma and blurs the vision many individuals and communities have held in the past. As we hear from people that marriage is not all about sex, and it is about committing oneself to social responsibilities and duties, which inclines itself to seemly convincing concept, but as from some of its manifestations we looked at, it appears scary and nullifying.
The consequences of marriage have been manifold, where both positive and negative aspects dwell. Unless marriage ends up in divorce or death of one of the partners, it is quite better than living alone. It allows human beings to focus on social and political aspects of their life, rather than being engaged in infatuations.
Persuasiveness, selfishness, spiritual dissatisfaction, excessive passions and pride, deception and arrogance are some of the negative elements, which most people attribute to the breakdown of their marriages.
As a friend of mine defined marriage after good experience of it, he said to me one day: “Listen, marriage is like going to a restaurant and having a very delicious and enjoyable food, and at the same time, when one looks the food at another table, one would say, I wish I could also order that”. It seems quite interesting to note the struggle that one makes in life after one has already chosen one’s point of adoration—in such temptations of the world and many options we have in life—to stay with one person is a sign and reflection of maturity, clear vision, sense of purpose, and responsibility—a precious skill people develop and a challenging experience people have to face.
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Writer Profile
Dereje Amera
Writing is a powerful instrument to promote one's ideology, so as to transform and galvanize the whole of humanity to have a better perspective about this world.
Words are just combinations of letters, but the power they exert in every human frame is still a mystery to all.
Writing uses these mysterious forces of words as a tool to introduce, induce and create vibrations in society, which do have an influence on every aspect of our life as human beings.
May the power of WORDS prevail over all!!
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Comments
Re: marriage where are we heading to? obot umoh | Jan 15th, 2007
i am suprised because i personally thought f marrying but when one thinks of all the defects marriage has to offer i only sit and gaze where are we heading to
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