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Nymphomaniacs and philanderers are very vulnerable to this massive distraction in a relationship, but this is a topic for discussion in another article.
The preventive measures and cure to this problematic and damaging character trait are not impracticable. The unseen buttons of character traits that are embedded in every one of us could be controlled by us. I believe that ‘unfaithfulness’ sits quite calm in one corner, like all other characters of our robotic creation, until we prick it on, or tap it into action. Then it gradually comes on; it could be reversed – the mechanism is not very different from that of a remote control electronic that comes on and goes off at the push of the same button.
Boredom, as was discussed, could be an ‘infidelity’ prompter; however, this could be cut off even before it is turned on. A couple in a relationship could prevent boredom from creeping into their affairs as long as the enthusiasm that was in them at the beginning of the relationship stays alive. How can this be accomplished? Might be the question that comes to mind: simple – there should be full understanding. There should be fire to keep the relationship burning. Both partners should constantly explore each other, learn more about each other, get as close as they can and shut out any other intruding persons of the opposite sex with the vive to turn their minds towards him/her. They should see each day as the very first of their romantic escapade with their partner and re-live quixotic times they had had together, seeing thier partner as the greatest among their gender. Only then will boredom not pose a problem.
Relationships are durable when dialogue is always called upon. Relationship should not live by bread (sex) alone, but by the words that come out of each partners' mouth. It has a psychic power of bringing people very close together. Talking about the kind of life a partner wants to lead; whispering into each others ears; encouraging each other when personal life encounters glitch; being there for a partner and presenting oneself as a solid rock of comfort; and making a partner feel he/she cannot get positive and genuine comfort from anyone except from them. They should lay their hearts bare and lead each other to their private lives. People tend to stick with you when you tell them the truth about yourself and about themselves. There cannot be any dull moments in the lives of partners if they make dialogue a stepping stone in their relationship. Refrain from telling a partner what he/she is not just to impress or make them happy; this is uncultured flattery, which in most cases, backfires and the partner feels they are being played for a sucker.
Intimacy, passion, excitement and adventure cannot and should not be overlooked if the partners want to stay glued to each other. Partners have to be romantic to each other, caress and make each other feel ecstatic. Not just an acidulous dose of sex, but a passionate and head spinning affection of closeness and intimate love shared. A candlelight dinner once in a while; a short walk on the beach or in a greenish garden, where only the chipping of birds could be heard besides the pounding of their hearts; or a picnic in a romantic, remote place with great landscape can do the magic. A psychic book I once read said that the mind takes in such scenarios and magnets it, because only nature was the third party; and because nature is everywhere, the feeling is remembered more often than not.
Romantic gifts are also great in keeping a relationship. Both gender has to give. The uncivilized thinking of some people is that only the male should shower their female partners with gifts, but that is very wrong. Gifts should be reciprocated. Each time a partner picks up a gift he/she has received from a lover, the mind always flashes back to the giver and a smile – in most cases – caresses the lips. The partner has to remember at least one goodtime they had had or else the relationship is under threat of crashing; thereby, opening a door for ‘infidelity’ to infiltrate. What good is it sticking with someone whom a partner cannot daydream about or remember one little gesture of generosity about them?
Ex-lovers – what about them? They could come creeping in with the ulterior motive of getting an erstwhile lover back; or in most cases, have one final “make out” with them. What would an ex-lover possibly want that they had not tasted in the past, when they decided the person was not good enough to be theirs? They only parted in the first place either because they were not satisfied with the relationship, or were rejected by the lover involved. Here, what carries the day is total resistance and an adamant resolution not to fall prey to a tempting intruder. Avoidance is one tactic that would work like a charm. Staying away from the encroaching ex-lover and seeing less of them would put a big ditch between the two parties involved; and as time passes by, the feeling of obsession and loss they have would gradually die off.
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kevin M
I am a Nigerian and an avid reader who also take great pleasure in putting pen on paper. I believe that with the right expression of words written with my pen people could change for the better and correct or curb some ills eating deep into our system of government or life in general. Poverty and corruption have always been Africa's most dreaded diseases and Nigeria is no exception. I write fiction and non-fiction and also write articles on any subject, especially that concerning the well-being of the poor masses. I wish to be an acclaimed writer and author and a motivational speaker
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