|
|
I remember especially one guy named Smart. We were introduced by a mutual friend at a party. He was a final-year student while I was in my second year. He was true to his name and more. Any girls’ dream, but I did everything short of enslaving him. I encouraged him into thinking that I was in love with him. He fell for it. Like most men, he yearned for love and poured it out in full once he thought I loved him. But I hurt him so badly that I cry for his pains. Being intuitive, he got near to pinpointing my declared war against men. On one occasion, he had this to say, “Ada, please, I don’t know who hurt you but you must try and understand that all men aren’t the same. The past is not an assurance of the future, although it may be an indication but indications have no certainty in it.” I laughed and called him a lecturer. I guess he was right after all. Wherever he is right now, I want him to know that he was right and I was wrong and that I am sorry.
My being sorry cannot change anything, least of all my HIV-positive status. Yes, from one of my sexual escapades, I got infected with HIV. I threw caution to the wind in hatred and am dearly paying for it as I slowly die of a shameful disease. According to the doctors, I got infected with two different strains that hastened the clinical manifestations of the disease so early. I lie on my sick bed rejected by my family friends and society. I have only these memories that brought me to this--my obsession with the past. I knew I indulged in high-risk behaviors but I felt such things happened to other people and not to me. I thought that I was invincible but how wrong I was. How wrong I have always been just for remembering the past so much.
That old history teacher of mine warned me but in my opinionated manner I got poisoned by the past that I indulged in. I can’t blame Roy. He hurt me but he wasn’t to blame for my subsequent actions. I made my choice as young people do. We all think that the old are fools but they know that we are the fools. I remembered the past so much that I neglected the present and future. Most painfully, I don’t have much long to live to even regret my one deadly folly--dwelling so much on the past.
|
Tags
You must be logged in to add tags.
|
Writer Profile
Reality
I come alive when I write and the feeling that those few lines may impact positively on a soul unknown to me or even elicit a smile makes it a worthwhile endeavour.
|
Comments
ekwy okafor | Feb 6th, 2007
is this a true life story or a fiction
You must be a TakingITGlobal member to post a comment. Sign up for free or login.
|
|
