Please allow me to present
A skilled enthusiastic detail-driven worker heaven-sent
Plays nice with other peons and never shows up late
And (of course beyond the customary) won’t exaggerate
Plus she’ll smile and gladly do the jobs that other people hate
You can stick her on a podium, shove cameras in her face
Sit her down before a monitor or dress her up in lace
Knows her way around a meeting conference luncheon boardroom plane
Can converse in French and Spanish on themes bordering inane
And (during working hours) won’t appear the least insane
If you’re seeking education in the formal sense it’s there
From an institute of learning high in ivory tower air
Liberal Arts Certificate, Honours (First Class) B of A
Final Transcript 3.96 – fairly decent GPA
If you care to note that rounding it becomes a perfect A
But theories and textbooks aren’t the highlights of this show
More than a decade’s bread-win toil amounts to quite the folio
Retail Teaching Volunteering Corporate-execu-wheeling-dealing
Academia Non-profit United Nations and Touch healing
So you can probably imagine how sans job she has been feeling
Anyway, suffice to say
If you’d like to make her day
Make an offer of employment
Assuring your complete enjoyment
Ready now for quick deployment…
Yours most truly,
She
Dear Manager X,
I’m excited to apply for the post that you are posting
Fits my ideal description of a job I’d like to do
Here let me convince you of my assets without boasting
Or revealing desperation (as time passes I’m more prone to)
My goal's to work with absolute professional devotion
At world-saving or at least to do my part in the promotion of
Sustainable development, the buzz word cum solution to
Issues of environment, human rights, and economic distribution
I fulfill all your requirements listed clearly you can see
For more details take a gander at my explicit CV (attached)
I am leaving contact info; please don’t hesitate to call for
References, an interview or anything at all
In conclusion, dearest Manager,
I'm excited to apply
For the post that you are posting
And await your kind reply.
Sincerely,
May
the best candidate
win
Attention: Hiring Committee
What a rocky road it’s been!
I wonder if this application by a human shall be seen
Likely instead it will be sucked into black hole cyberspace
Key-word screen pre-considered, compu-filtered, and erased
Am I wrong to keep on looking for the ultimate position
Fitting to my disposition and my longer-term ambition?
Endless searching takes its toll upon my mind, upon my soul
And the process comes replete with total absence of control
I may not have done this job before but even so you might explore
The value I bear nonetheless I’ve heard I am among the best
My skills will transfer, this I swear, and I won’t long stay unaware
Of just what I need to do to succeed in my work for you
So, please if you’re a real committee
Hearing out my little ditty
And you think me at all witty
Give me some credit, not your pity
And offer me a job.
Thank you for your time.
You’re welcome for the rhyme.
Signed,
Honestly
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