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Cultivating our heart and character and living according to the principle ‘living for the sake of others’, we can make strong foundations for harmony and peace in all relationships. People who embody such altruistic qualities are recognized and honoured in every culture. It is proved that selfishness is the root of conflict, but no one is completely selfish, and no one is completely unselfish. Naturally we are a mixture of both natures, but can reach to original selfless status by self-denying process if we take the responsibilities of the situations with parental heart.
The whole resolution process can divide into three important steps. As these processes are related with restoring human’s original standard, it can be called ‘Restorational Conflict Resolution’ in which steps are –
1. Reflection and reorientation
2. Reversal and Restitution
3. Reconciliation and Renewal.
Reflecting from an unselfish viewpoint opens the door for resolving the conflict. Our fundamental beliefs and motivations govern the result, whether it would be good or bad. At first we must have to be humble and listen the word of offended which can transcend our own viewpoint and develop empathy. Usually we justified our action and position from our self-centered viewpoint. By following moral and ethical principles, we can easily overcome ignorance, misunderstandings, errors, illusions etc egoistic negative emotions, which is very necessary for conflict resolution.
Reversal role of the person and group can easily restore the situation from wrong to right. For example, Mahatma Gandhi played reversal role, loved English instead of hate. His reversal role changed the general trends of violence. To play reversal role it is very necessary to pay ‘indemnity conditions’ especially for a key person. If we damage someone's property, we apologize and repair it, or we pay for the cost of repairs. Same thing needs to do for peace and harmony reestablishment with a total investment of heart.
No matter who is right or wrong, lasting peace can be achieved only when both sides sincerely desire it. The offender can more easily go through the indemnity course. If we truly pay attention into ‘reconciliation and renewal’, the conflicting values arrogance converted into humility, greed into generosity, exploitation into service, and enmity into love and forgiveness. Most of cause we, generally offended don’t want or can’t forgiveness as they persecuted. But forgiveness is much needed for reconciliation. Martin Luther King said, "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that…. we never get rid of an enemy by meeting hate with hate; we get rid of an enemy by getting rid of enmity." When we can forgive the offender from the position of the offended, we transcend ordinary human limitations. Through making and accepting restitution, through forgiving and being forgiven, our hearts are healed and liberated.
However, if we always repeat and seek to justify ourselves, both internal and external conflicts will never be solved. By taking responsibility for our mistakes and understanding others, we can release ourselves from selfish pride and guilt. Our general tendency is to avoid the conflict without proper solution, so it repeats and transmits from one stage to another stage, generation to generation and once it accumulates as cultural conflicts. It is good to solve the conflict as soon as possible. More over, participating in conflict resolution is good for character growth. We have freedom and opportunity to either pass on the problems or pass on the solution.
In conclusion I would like to say, “Problem is not problem, problem is process of development if we can handle properly`. By following the motto ‘I am ok, you are ok’ we can interact and converse with differences positively, make a favourable situation. In this digital age we can easily solve all misunderstandings from local to global level by sharing experiences and ideas. Internet and digital technology bring us today in the same stage. TakingITGlobal is doing a great job by uniting different global youth communities. If our young people can learn how to relate to others with respect, fairness, tolerance and love, there can be hope for creating a new world culture of peace and prosperity.
References :
1. ‘Searching for life’s True Purpose’, 11 in a series, IEF New York 2001
2. ‘I am Ok you are Ok’, Thomas A. Harris, M.D. Avon Books, New York, 1973
3. ‘International Online Training Program on conflict resolution, www.colorado.edu/conflict/peace.
4. ‘My Journey in life’, a student textbook for character development, IEF New York 2001
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Shahjahan Siraj
Shahjahan Siraj is a multiemdia designer, film maker and development practitioner (http://www.machizo.com/siraj) in Bangladesh. He is the founder of Machizo Multimedia Communication, however editor and publisher of 'Climate Radio', 'UnnayanTV' and 'UnnayanNews'. (http://www.machizo.com)
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