When I was younger I was pretty optimistic, even keen about growing house plants – my mom used to get plenty of them as gifts from her students on various occasions during the school year - and I loved these plants and always tried to give them my best attention and care - but I only found myself suffering when my houseplants plans failed and they got sick and even worse – some were dying in front of my eyes. I remember how I was desperate because of my dear small lemon tree that I planted and took care myself from the seed! But some ugly bugs attacked its tiny bark when it was few years old. After that small tree died I gave up keeping house plants altogether. I gave away what was left of my pots and forgot about them. I tried to comfort myself thinking - At last, when you don’t have plants at home, you are free to travel and stay for summer and winter holidays as long as you can.
At the end, there was only that big cactus left in the house. That cool guy in the window had his history. Once upon a time, when I was working as a teacher in a very modest country school, at the beginning of the 90’s, my pupils from one class decided to make a funny gift to me at the most important holiday of March 8th – something like Mother’s day - when all female teachers get flowers and nice gifts from their pupils. That day I also got many gifts and flowers from all other classes until I finally came to them. They didn’t follow the tradition, thinking that I was unconventional enough to accept their joke, and instead of pile of presents and flowers they put just an ordinary match box at my desk. When I came into their classroom there was just small and ugly, obviously used match box in the middle on my desk. Their eyes were smiling, and they were unusually quiet, as if expecting something big to happen. I knew they are watching my reaction. As a matter of fact I thought it WAS box of matches, and I didn’t want to show my disappointment, on the contrary, I wanted to show I’d gladly accept anything they have chosen as a gift for me on that day.
“Here’s a small gift for you from our class”, someone said to me. “Oh! A box of matches! How kind of you to notice I’m forgetting stuff like that all the time. Thanks a lot, guys! Just what I needed!” I said, as I was a smoker at that time. I was going to put it in my bag with the big smile and start the lecture. “But, teacher, you haven’t opened your gift! Please, just open it!” someone said and they were all staring at me breathlessly.
So, that was it. I was opening the small box very carefully, smiling at them, but at the same time suspecting that my sweet teenagers put some big insect or something else, who knows what, inside to frighten me - and indeed it was something hairy I spotted inside.... I stopped and shouted convivially: “Hey, what is it inside? Will anyone tell me?” I was faking the authority, but smiling to show I am accepting their joke. I felt I was really expecting a big surprise, and believe it or not, it was a thrill. Totally unpredictable, yet friendly feeling. They got me!
At that moment they burst to laughter, everyone saying something different: “It’s a huge spider!”, “Go ahead, don’t be afraid!”, “Carefully, teacher, you might get hurt!”, “Very dangerous creature inside, Miss!”.
I suddenly felt I blushed and opened it quickly at once, dropping it on my desk, when small peace of tiny cactus fell out of the match box and we all laughed and laughed until some of them started to cry. I couldn’t help hugging and kissing them and telling them that it was the best performance and the most exciting gift and I ever received from my pupils and that they are the best and that – of course I even said that – I will keep it whole my life! Then some of them seriously added that it will grow normally if I plant it in a small pot with sandy soil. I did it and today it’s still alive, after almost 15 years. It’s growing peacefully and quietly in my mom’s window, and only by winter we take it to warmer place. Although one winter when we weren’t there, we couldn’t help it got slightly frozen, but nothing happened and it recovered very well. And now – it’s the only houseplant I have at my mom’s home.
Many years later, when I was one of big managers of a big software company, there were many colleagues, mainly female, but one man also, who were filling their offices with plants, growing them and sharing them with us – other mortals who didn’t have such a lovely jungle in the office. So, thanks to them I always had nice plants around, but never got too attached as their owners were taking care of them. Daily, I could catch them in moments when they were thinking no one noticed they were talking to them, watering them and doing things you’d usually do with your babies – cleaning them, turning them to better catch the light, replanting them in new pots, putting some small holders to get them straight, remove dead leaves, fertilizing, propagating them by taking small parts or new offspring, bringing to work small shelves and other staff specially for them... I could tell you complete houseplants care story I learned there, but only as a theory, because they were never allowing to us, plant-less tribe, to touch their plants not even ones they forced us to keep in our own offices.
These guys were like pros from a plant nursery, when concerning their treasure they were always very competent, authoritative, very disciplined, very punctual, very selfish, and extremely worried that someone don’t harm their green babies. The first thing they did when arriving to workplace was always to get there few minutes earlier to check their plants and then get to work. Once, when I got as a gift a beautiful huge Dieffenbachia which soon propagated too much in its pot few of my “green” colleagues fight over who would get these small ones to put them in new pots. They were pressing me every day until finally I let them do that and replant my Dieffenbachia which died shortly after they “helped” her grow better, but its offspring were living happily in their pots. Some of them were even put again in my office “to make it more beautiful and me less sad for I have lost my plant.”
Years passed until next time when I got my Dracaena Janet Craig Compacta – really beautiful specimen in a beautiful stylish blue-white pot. It was in 2000 when we were forming our first web team from the scratch. I organized big office for five of new staff and three of us to work together at the beginning and my secretary, a fengshui addict, bought a plant to each member to put on a special place at desk or window. The new staff were amazed, the place was too small and there was not enough room either for us, not to mention plants, but soon as we got to know each other better and finally got together well, we even named our plants and were living as happy greenish working family there.
Soon, we all became attached to our plants, not letting anyone harm them, although plants were living in awful conditions – lots of smoke and dust in the air, piles of paper hanging around, no regular watering, then sometimes unintentional “watering” with coffee, beer and even tequila if we were celebrating something in the office, then countless cases of accidental abuse, sitting on a plant covered by something, or almost tragic falling down from the desk/window, etc. as it was normal in a very dynamic office with 8 creative, workaholic people who were swinging from total catatonic steadiness in front of their monitors over loud articulations of their thoughts at the scratch board up to hilarious mood dancing all around sometimes with the very plant in hands after completing some challenging project phase. (Ah, those were the days, my friend...)
The point is that all plants survived, even my big Janet Craig who started dangerously to lean more and more towards the sunlight acting like Pisa tower for some reason. Then she had grown her little daughter in the same pot and that was about the time when our company plant watchers started visiting our big office to kindly negotiate with me who will take it away. I was not giving it for long time, but at the end I had to because I didn’t have ambition to wrap my life around taking care of two plants instead one. As we were frequently moving from the offices / floors / even locations (once it was 5 times for one year) I had more worries about my 10 boxes of books and documentation. I remember that one of our biggest moves took us to pack 35 huge cardboard boxes from our single office – all our equipment, books and yes – plants! – were going to other better premises and it took us whole weekend to pack, unpack and install everything in new offices. Of course we were only part of the team of about 80 people moving with over 150 computers, servers, library, administrations and – yes! Plants, of course! – to get to new offices where no furniture arrived yet except few small shelves. Those were the days, indeed.
Anyway, the plants survived that all as well as we do, but my plant was flown to someone else’s green flock and I found it few weeks later in the same beautiful pot equipped with strong holder to get her stem straight again. I was very proud that my Janet from Pisa has never straightened up and stayed leaned for all these years. Now she is at her 8th office location, still in the office leaning towards the window to the busy street downtown Belgrade. By my opinion she hasn’t changed at all, her leaves are slightly damaged at their ends and that’s all, she isn’t growing much, but her offspring did, so they are about the same size. Maybe, just maybe, I should take better care about her if only I knew how but I’m happy enough to see that she came quietly (into a scary and stressful working environment) and became a legend, at least for me.
Otherwise, I still feel strange about houseplants in general.
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