TakingITGlobal - Panorama - A Series of Moments

Published on: Jan 2, 2004

Topic:

Type: Short Stories

https://www.tigweb.org/express/panorama/article.html?ContentID=2653

"What remains?
Only the remembrance
Of a vanished history
And those portraits of your grandparents."
- Jean Arasanayagam

It is impossible to capture and contain my recent journey to Sri Lanka within one particular article or essay. Added to this, is the difficult task of deconstructing the various images, emotions and situations that one typically experiences, whether willingly or otherwise, on such a return. For the time being, however, here is a series of moments that are personal signposts to larger narratives. By way of disclaimer, this is not poetry by any stretch of the imagination.

after perfunctory prayers to pillayar
hugging amma goodbye and not looking behind
keep your mouth shut and eyes open
her motherly wisdom insistent in my ear
plane hopping from toronto to zurich to frankfurt to colombo
ayubowan and welcome to sri lanka
is this home
tired dragging myself onto a bed in wellawatte
time to leave
waiting endless hours for a red crossed jeep at omanthai
the sun rising ms subbulakshmi reassuring the waiting crowd
kowsalya supraja rama poorva sandhya pravarthathe
a child crying small boys selling smaller apples
and a woman squatting to piss on grassy british pride
a stone faced soldier taking it all in tapping at his weapon
the border opening and a convoy of vehicles bumping along dusty roads
returning the stares of curious soldiers
crossing no human land
vanakkam and welcome to tamil eelam
is this home
arriving in kilinochchi rs 1000 poorer
familiar but short lived faces accents and jokes again
alone settling into routines
teabun combo served with sarcasm on the house at cheran
air conditioned english in vannitech
teaching marking learning and joking
rice and curry at amudhasurabi and daily cycling around town
talking sharing discovering and snapping reality
teaching computers and learning guilt under sheds in chc
drowning rotis in fanta at ilamthendral
after dinner walks under a starry sky to a stifling room
mosquitoes frogs and boring insects for room mates
and a cobra threatening its return
unable to sleep in the heat
tossing turning and praying for dawn break
joking and learning marking teaching
routines interrupted
a mobile clinic in a bombed out theatre
sight seeing gurukulam
a wiggling jothika on a projector under another shed
a defied unmarked trip into the jungle
and finding only humans there
learning teaching and joking rewarded by
the recoil of an ak 47 on a firing range
hauling myself aboard a dora near the sea
back in town familiar faces accents and jokes
late night pineapple parties
visitors passing through from norway france australia germany america and london
under the scorching sun imagining myself in love
time to leave
a flurry of exchanging addresses signing autographs and snapping photographs
dont forget us you will forget us you will forget us
the students tell me matter of factly
you will forget us you will forget us dont forget us
no no i protest guiltily getting into a peeling morris minorpassing destroyed houses lives and a chemical factory enroute to muhamalai
why dont u join us the younger tiger cadre asks of me at his side
why you come to lanka the older army constable asks of me at his side
i am on vacation i mumble to both hurriedly zipping my bags
driving through palmyrah dotted landscapes
stopping a while at chemmani a lingering stench in the air
welcome to yarlpanam
is this home
armed soldiers at every corner staring my welcome
am i intruding
turning into kokuvil kokuvil east i remind myself
is this home
seems smaller in 21 year old eyes
falling into aunts hug shaking uncles hand and joking with cousins
catching up with sixteen years in two weeks
gossip rumors myths and legends
eating jackfruit climbing trees and drinking kool in leaves
catching up with sixteen years in two weeks
old tales of intrigue and scandal
on my grandfathers easy chair under the mango tree
the moon peeking through the leaves
cursory prayers at maththanai tellipalai vallipuram nellandai and selvasanithy
staring in wonderment at karthikai deepam in nallur
on a ferry to nagadeepaya nagabooshani amman and afterwards
the faint melody of chinna chinna aasai
chiming through navy barracks
the buddha in his vihara smiling serenely at complexities
retracing private and public histories
in town nallur kokuvil kondavil uduvil kantharodai and thumpalai
time to leave
at dawn break scooping a fistful of sand from my grandfathers land
hugging goodbyes and promising to keep in touch
landing in colombo and thrown into it
barristos coffees odel ice creams crescat clothes majestic movies and hilton dinners
a wedding here a birthday party there and visiting relatives
on a vijitha yapa shelf discovering muller under his jam fruit tree
swatting at mosquitoes listening to southern narratives
and amidst this heat frost on my arm
blasting eminem on galle face a pimp in a bandana throwing looks
tamil boys cracking jokes in sinhala over drinks
kathiresan in his kovil smiling serenely at complexities
escaping to kandy the wind on my face as i ride the railways
praying at dalada maligawa disturbed by tourists and
memories of the blast hanging on its walls
drinking in the beauty of the plains on the way
back to colombo but
time to leave
again
hugging phoning lunching and dining goodbyes
hopping planes from colombo to zurich to toronto
bonjour and welcome to canada
is this home
hugging amma hello and looking behindGlossary of Terms:
- Sri Lanka is a small South Asian island state that has been torn apart by an ethnic conflict between the majority Sinhalese and minority Tamils for more than 20 years. The bloody events in the country drove more than 500,000 Tamils to seek asylum around the world. Canada, and in particular, Toronto is home to at least 200,000 of these Tamils.
- "amma" is the Tamil word for mother.
- "pillayar" refers to the elephant-headed Hindu God who is known to remove obstacles. Before attempting any major event, Pillayar (or Ganesh as popularly known) is usually invoked by prayers.
- "ayubowan" is the Sinhala word for welcome. Sinhala is the language of the majority in Sri Lanka.
- Wellawatte, Omanthai, Kokuvil, Kilinochchi, Muhamalai, Nallur, Kondavil, Uduvil, Kantharodai, Thumpalai, etc. are names of villages and town suburbs.
- MS Subbulakshmi is the most famous female Carnatic vocalist. Carnatic refers to classical South Indian music. It's North Indian counterpart is Hindustani, the most famous exponent of this being Ravi Shankar (of Beatles fame).
- "kowsalya supraja..." is the opening line of the Sri Venkateswara Subrapatham, a Hindu devotional hymn that is sung at dawn. It is translated as "O Rama, son of Kowsalya and dearest to the people/The dawn before sunrise is on its way/Rise, O Tiger amonst humans/ Your divine duties beckon you." The most popular singer of this hymn is MSS.
- "vanakkam" is the Tamil word for welcome.
- Tamil Eelam refers to the secessionist state that is fought for by the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE), a Tamil militant group that rejected intransigent parliamentary politics to follow more violent means of securing the self-determination of the Tamil-speaking people of Sri Lanka. At present, this state covers the Vanni region and is governed separately by the LTTE. It has its own taxes, armed forces, currency and even time zone! Although it appears as a country within a country, this state is not recognized by international bodies.
- Kilinochchi is the main town of the Vanni region and is the administrative capital of the LTTE.
- Gurukulam is an orphanage for hundreds of girls whose parents have either died or have abandoned them.
- Chemmani refers to the place where mass graves of Tamil victims were uncovered. It is believed that these graves were the doing of the government forces, which is more or less Sinhalese in composition.
- Yarlpanam is the Tamil word for Jaffna, the cultural capital of the Tamils of Sri Lanka. It is situated in the Northern part of the country, quite close to the southern tip of India.
- Maththanai, Tellipalai, Vallipuram, Nallur, Nagadeepaya, Nellandai and Selvasanithy are sites of popular Hindu temples.
- "karthikai deepam" refers to a festival of lights that is held annually at the Nallur temple.
- "chinna chinna aasai" refers to a popular Tamil cinema song composed by A.R. Rahman, who later went on to work with Andrew Lloyed Webber on his Bombay Dreams musical.
- "vihara" is the Sinhalese term for a buddhist temple while "kovil" is the Tamil term for a Hindu temple.
- "kathiresan" refers to Murugan, the Hindu God of Valour and Beauty, who enjoys the greatest devotion amongst the Tamils. He is unmistakably a South Indian/Tamil God, one who does not figure in the North Indian mythology of Ramayana and Mahabharata.
- "dalaga maligawa" refers to the Temple of the Tooth in Sri Lanka's hill town of Kandy. This temple was bombed by the LTTE in 1998 killing more than 25 people.

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by MephistophelesSmithUK
Published on: Jan 2, 2004
Topic:
Type: Short Stories
https://www.tigweb.org/express/panorama/article.html?ContentID=2653


"What remains? Only the remembrance Of a vanished history And those portraits of your grandparents." - Jean Arasanayagam It is impossible to capture and contain my recent journey to Sri Lanka within one particular article or essay. Added to this, is the difficult task of deconstructing the various images, emotions and situations that one typically experiences, whether willingly or otherwise, on such a return. For the time being, however, here is a series of moments that are personal signposts to larger narratives. By way of disclaimer, this is not poetry by any stretch of the imagination. after perfunctory prayers to pillayar hugging amma goodbye and not looking behind keep your mouth shut and eyes open her motherly wisdom insistent in my ear plane hopping from toronto to zurich to frankfurt to colombo ayubowan and welcome to sri lanka is this home tired dragging myself onto a bed in wellawatte time to leave waiting endless hours for a red crossed jeep at omanthai the sun rising ms subbulakshmi reassuring the waiting crowd kowsalya supraja rama poorva sandhya pravarthathe a child crying small boys selling smaller apples and a woman squatting to piss on grassy british pride a stone faced soldier taking it all in tapping at his weapon the border opening and a convoy of vehicles bumping along dusty roads returning the stares of curious soldiers crossing no human land vanakkam and welcome to tamil eelam is this home arriving in kilinochchi rs 1000 poorer familiar but short lived faces accents and jokes again alone settling into routines teabun combo served with sarcasm on the house at cheran air conditioned english in vannitech teaching marking learning and joking rice and curry at amudhasurabi and daily cycling around town talking sharing discovering and snapping reality teaching computers and learning guilt under sheds in chc drowning rotis in fanta at ilamthendral after dinner walks under a starry sky to a stifling room mosquitoes frogs and boring insects for room mates and a cobra threatening its return unable to sleep in the heat tossing turning and praying for dawn break joking and learning marking teaching routines interrupted a mobile clinic in a bombed out theatre sight seeing gurukulam a wiggling jothika on a projector under another shed a defied unmarked trip into the jungle and finding only humans there learning teaching and joking rewarded by the recoil of an ak 47 on a firing range hauling myself aboard a dora near the sea back in town familiar faces accents and jokes late night pineapple parties visitors passing through from norway france australia germany america and london under the scorching sun imagining myself in love time to leave a flurry of exchanging addresses signing autographs and snapping photographs dont forget us you will forget us you will forget us the students tell me matter of factly you will forget us you will forget us dont forget us no no i protest guiltily getting into a peeling morris minorpassing destroyed houses lives and a chemical factory enroute to muhamalai why dont u join us the younger tiger cadre asks of me at his side why you come to lanka the older army constable asks of me at his side i am on vacation i mumble to both hurriedly zipping my bags driving through palmyrah dotted landscapes stopping a while at chemmani a lingering stench in the air welcome to yarlpanam is this home armed soldiers at every corner staring my welcome am i intruding turning into kokuvil kokuvil east i remind myself is this home seems smaller in 21 year old eyes falling into aunts hug shaking uncles hand and joking with cousins catching up with sixteen years in two weeks gossip rumors myths and legends eating jackfruit climbing trees and drinking kool in leaves catching up with sixteen years in two weeks old tales of intrigue and scandal on my grandfathers easy chair under the mango tree the moon peeking through the leaves cursory prayers at maththanai tellipalai vallipuram nellandai and selvasanithy staring in wonderment at karthikai deepam in nallur on a ferry to nagadeepaya nagabooshani amman and afterwards the faint melody of chinna chinna aasai chiming through navy barracks the buddha in his vihara smiling serenely at complexities retracing private and public histories in town nallur kokuvil kondavil uduvil kantharodai and thumpalai time to leave at dawn break scooping a fistful of sand from my grandfathers land hugging goodbyes and promising to keep in touch landing in colombo and thrown into it barristos coffees odel ice creams crescat clothes majestic movies and hilton dinners a wedding here a birthday party there and visiting relatives on a vijitha yapa shelf discovering muller under his jam fruit tree swatting at mosquitoes listening to southern narratives and amidst this heat frost on my arm blasting eminem on galle face a pimp in a bandana throwing looks tamil boys cracking jokes in sinhala over drinks kathiresan in his kovil smiling serenely at complexities escaping to kandy the wind on my face as i ride the railways praying at dalada maligawa disturbed by tourists and memories of the blast hanging on its walls drinking in the beauty of the plains on the way back to colombo but time to leave again hugging phoning lunching and dining goodbyes hopping planes from colombo to zurich to toronto bonjour and welcome to canada is this home hugging amma hello and looking behindGlossary of Terms: - Sri Lanka is a small South Asian island state that has been torn apart by an ethnic conflict between the majority Sinhalese and minority Tamils for more than 20 years. The bloody events in the country drove more than 500,000 Tamils to seek asylum around the world. Canada, and in particular, Toronto is home to at least 200,000 of these Tamils. - "amma" is the Tamil word for mother. - "pillayar" refers to the elephant-headed Hindu God who is known to remove obstacles. Before attempting any major event, Pillayar (or Ganesh as popularly known) is usually invoked by prayers. - "ayubowan" is the Sinhala word for welcome. Sinhala is the language of the majority in Sri Lanka. - Wellawatte, Omanthai, Kokuvil, Kilinochchi, Muhamalai, Nallur, Kondavil, Uduvil, Kantharodai, Thumpalai, etc. are names of villages and town suburbs. - MS Subbulakshmi is the most famous female Carnatic vocalist. Carnatic refers to classical South Indian music. It's North Indian counterpart is Hindustani, the most famous exponent of this being Ravi Shankar (of Beatles fame). - "kowsalya supraja..." is the opening line of the Sri Venkateswara Subrapatham, a Hindu devotional hymn that is sung at dawn. It is translated as "O Rama, son of Kowsalya and dearest to the people/The dawn before sunrise is on its way/Rise, O Tiger amonst humans/ Your divine duties beckon you." The most popular singer of this hymn is MSS. - "vanakkam" is the Tamil word for welcome. - Tamil Eelam refers to the secessionist state that is fought for by the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE), a Tamil militant group that rejected intransigent parliamentary politics to follow more violent means of securing the self-determination of the Tamil-speaking people of Sri Lanka. At present, this state covers the Vanni region and is governed separately by the LTTE. It has its own taxes, armed forces, currency and even time zone! Although it appears as a country within a country, this state is not recognized by international bodies. - Kilinochchi is the main town of the Vanni region and is the administrative capital of the LTTE. - Gurukulam is an orphanage for hundreds of girls whose parents have either died or have abandoned them. - Chemmani refers to the place where mass graves of Tamil victims were uncovered. It is believed that these graves were the doing of the government forces, which is more or less Sinhalese in composition. - Yarlpanam is the Tamil word for Jaffna, the cultural capital of the Tamils of Sri Lanka. It is situated in the Northern part of the country, quite close to the southern tip of India. - Maththanai, Tellipalai, Vallipuram, Nallur, Nagadeepaya, Nellandai and Selvasanithy are sites of popular Hindu temples. - "karthikai deepam" refers to a festival of lights that is held annually at the Nallur temple. - "chinna chinna aasai" refers to a popular Tamil cinema song composed by A.R. Rahman, who later went on to work with Andrew Lloyed Webber on his Bombay Dreams musical. - "vihara" is the Sinhalese term for a buddhist temple while "kovil" is the Tamil term for a Hindu temple. - "kathiresan" refers to Murugan, the Hindu God of Valour and Beauty, who enjoys the greatest devotion amongst the Tamils. He is unmistakably a South Indian/Tamil God, one who does not figure in the North Indian mythology of Ramayana and Mahabharata. - "dalaga maligawa" refers to the Temple of the Tooth in Sri Lanka's hill town of Kandy. This temple was bombed by the LTTE in 1998 killing more than 25 people. « return.