Eating disorders are called eating disorders because of the apparent prominent difficulty with eating food. The relationship between the individual and food has become extremely complicated compared to the individual who has a basic relationship to their food. Food becomes a way to work out one's frustrations, emotions, and desires.
Eating disorders are in fact stress mechanisms, an outlet for all of their emotional energy. However eating disorders are not ABOUT food. They are ABOUT a deeper pain, and they alleviate that pain through their relationship with food.
Psychotherapist Joanna Poppink says that the number one reason for developing an eating disorder is because of a boundary invasion on every level. An eating disordered person usually has an event in their lives where they had no control or way to stop, protest or even acknowledge such an invasion. They experience helplessness, despair, and a feeling of worthlessness. They can be violated physically, emotionally, psychologically, intellectually, and sexually. But it is this boundary invasion that causes a loss of knowing how to protect one's self and how to take care of one's self.
People with eating disorders are often passive aggressive and do not know how to defend themselves correctly. They are people-pleasers and perfectionists. They ache for love, support, and acceptance. It is very common that they try to live up to some ideal image, usually they are living out somebody else's expectations rather than there own. And that is where they get these feelings inadequacy, sadness, anger, self-dislike, and depression.
Food offers solace. To the anorexic she can reassure herself that she has control by not eating at all, she can be the ultimate of self-restriction. She strongly clings to this control feeling that she gets from it, she thinks it is the only way she will ever feel good about herself. She does not feel like a deserving person, she feels as though she is not worthy of feeding herself, feeding her life. Anorexics measure and calculate their worthiness.
The bulimic is conflicted between indulgence and restriction. Bingeing represents trying to "fill up" because life feels empty, and purging represents trying to rid one's self of bad things inside. They have no idea how to find balance in their lives. The bulimic is very secretive although you might not know it, they hide their feelings all of the time. Bulimics are also horribly self-critical. Overeaters (Binge Eating Disorder) eat to cover up the pain; they eat to protect themselves. They try to push down all of the feelings with the food that they eat, and they do not stop until they can reach some level of satisfaction. Of course they feel horrible after it is all over, they feel like a bad person.
Overeaters feel empty inside, like something is missing. Overeaters, like bulimics and anorexics, are most often people-pleasers, who give and give of themselves so much that they feel terribly alone and sad inside. Eating disordered people need to learn that it is "OKAY" to feel, and that they are entitled to their feelings regardless of how they "SHOULD" feel. You know, you will hear all kinds of people with eating disorders say that they wear a mask, they do not express their true selves, they are very afraid of being vulnerable.
You have to know that eating disordered people are very sensitive people, and they are very concerned with what other people think. A person with an eating disorder wants so much to be liked, told they are a good person, a beautiful person, and a talented person. They do not show their feelings or their inner self, they live in fear of being rejected. There is a strong need for security. People wonder sometimes why a person with an eating disorder can't just stop. Why? Because their eating disorder is there for them, they have an eating disorder because it serves a purpose. Their eating disorder offers them security, emotional release, purpose and meaning. It seems to offer them the very things that they were denied.
Obviously in the long-term an eating disorder does not really give you all these things. The eating disorder tells you that after you lose 10 pounds you shall be deserving. Then it tells you that you have to be a size 8, then a size 6, and you will never measure up. Or maybe it tells you that you can have all the food you want and still not gain a pound, that you can have everything you want without being restricted by it. How? By sticking your head in the toilet. And it keeps on telling you that you've got to throw up otherwise you shall be punished. Or maybe it tells you to eat that cookie, and another cookie, until you've eaten the whole bag. Then it tells you how horrible you are for overeating, being so lazy and indulgent, and you believe. Eating disordered people don't know where the balance is between give and take, and the voice in their head only confuses them more. They so desperately want to find the middle, but it always eludes them.
The road to recovery for these people is a long one. It involves self-acceptance, self-respect, self-discovery, self-love, and a lot of self-exploration so they can get to the root of your behavior and change it for the better. People have got to understand that it takes a whole physical, emotional, and mental transformation for these people to be able to recover. A lot of times these individuals have to leave their families because of the negative effects of the environment. So often eating disordered people are great sacrificers, they either don't know or disregard their own feelings and needs to fulfill another's, which resulted in the eating disorder in the first place. For an eating disordered person to be able to get better they have to put themselves first.
The media is one of the biggest contributors to eating disorders. Watching an Oprah show yesterday and listening to two girls talk who have suffered, who wanted to be pretty like other girls, I realized that maybe if girls didn't feel like they had to wear such tight and revealing clothing they wouldn't feel they had to be so skinny. A few years ago I realized how mad I was that I didn't even know what a women's body was supposed to look like. Of course, if we look at the girls on TV we think that that is how we are supposed to look.
Girls have so many problems with their body image because no one is showing or promoting a real woman's body. Women are supposed to be strong, curvy, and soft. The media and most magazines promote women that are adolescent/teenage size, not woman size. So of course we've got girls that want to go on diets and lose weight, girls who feel like they are fat and ugly. There is a whole new category of eating disordered girls who have sprouted up, that plainly have become that way to fit the image. Pro-anorexia sites never really came into play until the media started doing a lot of eating disorder coverage and stories, they obviously ended up promoting eating disorders.
The other side of the story lies at home and on the social scene. Many eating disordered patients have been found to have parents that are very strict or very idealistic, parents that are hard to satisfy. Usually peers of eating disordered people have made fun of their body or the way they look. Most of the time they are very out-going people and confident people on the outside, but you do not realize how scared they are on the outside. When somebody says something hurtful, even if it is supposed to be a joke, the eating disordered person will not tell you that you hurt his or her feelings. Instead they will ACT like everything is okay and smile right back at you through their pain.
Many eating disordered people have been sexually abused, most have been emotionally manipulated in some way, and all didn't get the love and support they needed in one way or another. And when family and friends do find out about a person they love having an eating disorder there is a tendency to panic and overreact, causing the eating disordered person to freak out and panic as well, also possibly causing their eating disordered behavior to worsen. The best advice, for friends and family dealing with an eating disordered loved one, is to listen, not judge, and sympathize. When a person with an eating disorder has come forward what they really need is a hug, a kiss, and an "it's okay". Let them tell their story and speak their heart.
Today there are many more therapies for eating disorders than there were 5-10 years ago. There are psychotherapists, psychologists, nutritionists, doctors, creative expression therapists, movement therapists, and so on that all specialize in eating disorder treatment. In fact, most of these people have had eating disorders.
Counseling has been the most common form of treatment. Psychotherapists and psychologists are there to listen, that is their job, and if you can find one suited to your needs, they can be a lifesaver and eye-opener. Nutritionists help eating disordered people understand how to eat correctly again. One of the hardest things for a patient recovering from an eating disorder is learning how to eat well again. They have to correct their hunger/full signals again.
Also, getting over the addictive behavior of an eating disorder is the biggest mountain to climb to make it to the side where you can begin to change your eating patterns. All eating disorders have a ritualistic component, a routine. The longer a person deals with an eating disorder the more it will become a habit, a discipline. Expression and movement therapists encourage artistic and creative expression. They help a patient learn to express all of the feelings and the thoughts that they hold deep inside. This really helps the patient learn a positive and constructive way to communicate and express themselves.
Doctors and researchers help us learn more about the causes of eating disorders and the effect eating disorders have on people. They help us see the bigger picture. They link up common factors so we can have a better understanding. Western medicine offers pills, counseling, hospitalization, and nutritional support.
An eating disordered person can also take group therapy, they can take self-help classes, and there are personal coaches for this kind of thing. There are many ranches and special places for eating disordered persons also. A lot of them offer scholarships or aid for those who do not have the money, in the United States anyhow. Besides all of the ways to get help that I already mentioned there is also a lot of help, advice, inspiration, and support online. A person can also write in a journal, read books from the library, make a special binder for sources of inspiration, write a list of fun activities to do when you feel down, etc. There are many ways to begin to recover. And for a person suffering from an eating disorder any step you make towards getting better is a giant step.
Something that should be noted is that all sorts of people have eating disorders. Some people develop eating disorders due to their profession. Such as wrestlers, dancers, long-distance runners, gymnasts, models, entertainers, etc. Children as young as 9 (and probably younger) can have an eating disorder. Elderly people can also suffer. Women and girls account for 98% of all eating disordered people, but men and boys suffer also. All people with eating disorders are not skin and bones. Eating disordered people can be overweight, underweight, or a normal weight. They come in all colors, with different histories, in all shapes and sizes. Something very important to remember is that they are all individuals, they all have their own feelings and their own stories.
Now, anytime that there is a large number of people suffering from the same kind of disorder or dysfunction, you have a societal, cultural, and environmental PROBLEM. 70 million people worldwide are affected by eating disorders. Eating disorders have been most prevalent in industrialized nations. Eating disorders are most common in the United States, Canada, Japan, Australia, New Zealand, Argentina, Europe, and South Africa.
This tells me that there are certain belief structures or codes of conduct in all of these countries that result in the repression of emotions, and manifestation of these emotions into the form of eating disorders. A lot of research and thought still needs to go into this part before there will be a complete knowing and understanding of these structures. What people can do in the meantime is spread awareness and talk, talk, talk.
Communication is key in finding a solution for eating disorders. The best thing a person, who has an eating disorder, can do is talk about what they feel and what is going on. The more that people feel like they can freely express themselves and be themselves, the closer we will be to ending eating disorders. We are causing in our young women and children a severe self-confidence deficit. Which means that we've got to start being more loving and accepting people period. There is no medication or media article that will take eating disorders out of existence.
We need to go back over our values in these nations where eating disorders are present, and figure out what really is important. People are going to continue to have eating disorders as long as we are non-communicative and superficial people. It is a deterioration of our values and our relations toward one another. Hopefully, as the years pass by, we will see an increase in our understanding of one another and a decrease in eating disorders.
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