"And my heart is breaking at the thought that, my country is 50 years away from this country..."
I was talking to the cab driver on my way home to Sengkang West. It's been four months now and this country is still making me "wow" on a lot of things really. I love this place. I love the way people love this country, respect it, adore it in every way. I myself have felt some love for Singapore, not only for my job, but also for the realizations that it provoked in me.
"But you can't compare the Philippines to Singapore lah. Philippines very big, Singapore very small. People are few, so easy to manage, you know." (These are the exact words.)
I let go of a deep sigh. I know he is trying to be nice and to make me feel better. If you came from a third world country to a first world country, changes can be so drastic, sometimes you may even find some of your common practices "jurassic." In a place like this, where everybody obeys traffic rules, nobody is allowed to eat or drink in public places (even MRTs and buses), and everyone knows how to queue, I know I should feel better off being here, but I was surprised with what I felt. I thought of my family back home, my friends, my former colleagues, my Philippines and my countrymen who paid for my tuition fee in college (I studied in a State University).
I wonder if things are going to get better. I wonder if the crime rates would ever go down in time, if poverty would be eliminated, if education would ever be accessible to all of the Filipinos regardless of stature and religious belief, if Muslims in Mindanao would ever stop waging wars, if politicians would ever show respect to their homeland and to themselves, if every Filipino would come to love the Philippines the way these Singaporeans do...These thoughts fill me, and overflow, so most of the time I feel so sad for my homeland.
Sad to say, I have come to love the Philippines only when I came here in Singapore.
A Dream Come True
It has been part of my medium-range plans to be here and work. They say this is a very competitive and highly-productive country. And I found it was true, from the very first day I came to the office for work. People work for more than eight hours per day, and focus on their jobs. Big MNCs are here. Big banks are here, so I said to myself I should be here (this is what I always said in the interviews when I was asked why I wanted to be here; funny but true). And I made it. I was able to get a job here and feel the thrill of doing bank accounting in Singapore. It has been a commonplace to Indians and Filipinos to come here and look for a job. I could not say that some are unlucky but there are just some people who are luckier than others. I belong to that group, I guess. I was able to get a good job at a good company.
I should really be having the time of my life right now. I have a good salary, a good boss, a job that I was looking for for the longest time. Singapore has been very good to me; God has been very kind to me. This is indeed a dream come true. All those years, all I did was to plan, to scheme, to get away from my pathetic country only to yearn for it more.
Another Dream Yet to Come True
Now that I have accomplished some of my goals, another dream has come. I dream of going home several years from now and returning to my Philippines. I know this is funny but this is what I feel right now. I want to go teach, to inspire young minds. I want to take part in shaping Philippines' future. I want to be active in living and loving my country with all her imperfections, and with all of whatever there is in her that makes her like what she is to me, and what she is to the world.
The journey to get out of the Philippines is over. The journey to get back is just starting. For now I will stay here and do my best to exemplify her in all of my doings. I will do my best to become a better Filipino, so that when I return, I can give all of myself to her. She has given all of herself to me, all of my life, even now that I am away.
Someday I hope to see her shining like Singapore, even brighter than Singapore. Someday I hope that when I have children or grandchildren, Philippines will be a country they will be proud of. Then we can look up in the sky, right hand on our left chest, all the three stars shining brightly, the sun forever shining for her, and the blue overcoming the red as a sign of peace and prosperity.
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