JKUAT is home to not-so-bad and not-so-good soccer pitches. Notwithstanding, that is where the action went down. In the first game the “Mechaniks” (of the Mechanical Engineering Department) seemed to be using pollutant leaded fuel and their coveted 6.0 liter V8 twin-turbocharged engine with dual intercoolers was firing blanks. The valves bowed to pressure, they squandered a two goal-lead; their defense warriors could not hold and they fell apart. Everything went topsy-turvy; they finished 2-3 against the “Physkal Wizards” (of the Physical Science Department) .
The next game was between “Physkal Wizards” and BEED (Biomechanical and Environmental Engineering Department). Perhaps the BEED guys worries about green gas emissions seduced the scientists to back the Kyoto protocol in exchange for a Budalangi of 4 goals. BSc Physical Science, perhaps wanting to end a four year jinx of losing in every final since the JKUAT Champions’ League was started, were upbeat and went to deflower their opponents, the “Food Scientists” (Horticulture Department), by giving them a taste of their own medicine. They squeezed goals out of them, and surely the juice of the goals was worth the squeeze.
The unlucky culprits were the Alternative Degree Program (ADP); they looked like damsels in distress, crying foul at every decision made by the referees and other match officials. Their actions were living proof that if you can't dazzle them with your brilliance, baffle them with your verbal superiority. Unfortunately for them, that was not an ingredient for success. Maybe next time they can assemble your femmes fatales babies as a cheering squad who will attract their opponents’ attention and hand them an easy victory!
Then came the “Elec Elec” (Electrical Engineering Department) soccer wannabes who were the defending champions. They seemed to have the Midas touch- every team they played against was soaked under a flood of goals. They carried a big Heineken banner, claiming that those were their sponsors. No wonder! That explains the frequent black outs in JKUAT.
The most interesting game was a semifinal match; it made the final match pale in comparison and proved football to be as glitzy and quintessential as it could get for the stern-faced and skillful masters of the game, the “Elec Elec” guys, against the flamboyant and tenacious “Physkal Wizards”. After an excruciating 90 minutes and extra time of grass-trampling, “Elec Elec” snatched a lucky penalty shoot-out win. The “Physkal Wizards”, who were heard whispering that the road to success is always under construction, seemed to have forgotten that if at first you don't succeed, you should redefine success. This was the third time in a row that they failed to clinch the title. The “Elec Elec” soccer pundits used every cliché in the “Theraja” and other Engineering Bibles to explain the nanotech chip technology which made their circuit board of soccer prowess tick.
One question still begs to be answered: which Operating System did the Computer Science (ICSIT) guys use in “Project Soccer”? Practice what you preach, brothers! If you use Linux OS in your computers, how come you brought a virus-infected Windows OS to the pitch and ended up losing every game? Was it a system crash or did a Trojan Horse-tactic backfire?
Despite all this eudaemonic showcase, fans could hardly steer away from the Premier League and La-Liga football discussions. Why should it be so? I challenge everyone to consider our own Kenyan Soccer League for live broadcasts on DSTV’s Supersports Channel. Anyway, for the losers- sometimes you get the bear, and sometimes the bear gets you. As for the winners- you can't afford to get lackadaisical and rest on your laurels. For this year it shall be a battle to remember!
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