Children are gift from God to their parent and gift from their parents to the world. Isaiah 8:18 states “I and the children the Lord has given to me have names that reveal plans the Lord Almighty has for His people.
There are two things parents must do:
- Training- Take active responsibility for the child.
- Discipline- Applying the rod of correction to deviating child so that he can conform to the norms. A youngster’s heart is full with foolishness, but discipline will drive it away (Proverbs 22:15).
Discover what interests your child as he grows, and start nurturing him in that area. Train your child way according to his ability. His area of interest is the area in which he has ability to perform well. Every human being has an area of specialization right from childhood, and it takes parents who discover and train their child in that area of specialization to have a great child.
How to discover the interests of your child
When your child knows nothing yet, buy him books, toy cars, televisions, fan, radio, bicycle, etc as many as you can. Watch him closely, you will find out that there is one toy he plays a lot with and you will also find out that sometimes he can spoil the toy and repair it again. Sometimes, if you hide his favorite toy from him you will see that his mood will change to bad until you give it back to him. Then he will become happy again.
Some children, even when you don’t buy them play toys, learn how to operate every electrical appliance in the house. Some will try to make clothes for their teddy, some will write on the wall and start saying every thing their teacher said in the class room as though they are teaching and holding a cane in their hand, and so on and so forth.
There is a child two years of age in my street. This child asks a lot of questions and talk too much. Once his daddy came home and saw him watching a movie alone. Surprised, he asked the child, “Where is your aunty?”
The child answered, “She is in the kitchen.”
He asked the child, “Who put on these things?”
The child said, “The remote control got spoilt and I repaired it, so I’m testing it.
Another day his mother wanted to use the remote control of the television, only to see its constituent pieces scattered in the sitting room. She called the child and asked him who had spoiled the remote control. He said “ I did, but I can fix it back.” His mother ordered him to fix it immediately. Before she could say “Jack Robin”, the boy was already controlling the television with the remote control.
Do not insist on training your child in the specialization of your choice; he may not do well in that area because his interest and ability is not in that direction. Don’t insist that your child will take the same line of profession as you if his interest and ability are not in that direction; he may fail you if you do because his way is not your way.
I know a young man who, in childhood, saw every round object as a basket ball. He grew up developing an interest in that direction and won some trophies during his primary and secondary school days but his father insisted that he must study medicine just like he had before him. The young man struggled with that curse and unfortunately, he could not graduate in Nigeria. His father sent him to Spain to study medicine, but in Spain he left the study of medicine and joined a basketball team. Before long he was sending cars to his parents. Allow your child to choose the profession of his interest because that is the only place he can do better than others and even strive for the best.
Establish rules for your child and your home. Most parents don’t have does and don’ts for their child. That is why one can notice a child’s bad behavior and wonder if the child comes from a home. The truth is that the child was not properly brought up. Have rules such as: no one stays outside the home after 5pm, no reading pornographic books or watching pornographic movies, no fighting, etc. When you make these rules, ensure that your child understands them. Explain to the child the reason why he should not do those things. And if he will be able to do some of them when he’s older, tell him at what age.
Don’t spare the rod when dealing with your child (Proverbs 12:1). In order to teach, you must employ discipline; it is stupid to hate correction. When you spare the rod, you spoil the child. Note this: both parents have equal rights to discipline the child. It is neither solely daddy’s nor mummy’s duty. When a child deviates, if you’re his mother, don’t tell him, “Wait until your daddy comes back.” This will make him discover your weakness as a woman and increase his respect for his daddy. And whenever one of the parents is disciplining the child, the other should be supportive. Neither parent should be on the side of the child.
If you feel that your spouse is overdoing the disciplining, have a way of calling him or her back to order. But don’t do it in such a way that the child will think that you are siding him. Rather call the child aside later and tell him in a mild tone, “Child, daddy or I spanked you because what you did was bad. We love you and so do not want you to do bad things. Don’t do it again so that we won’t spank you again.” Say some good words to him and show him some love. Don’t spank a child when you’re annoyed, and don’t hit a child with your bare hands. But don’t spare the rod, lest you spoil the child. Understand when your child disobeys childishly and willfully, so that you know how to discipline him or her.
Do not quarrel before your child, because children copy fast. He may be a child, but he knows what you are doing. Don’t allow your child to be bitter . Teach him to greet and respect elderly people. Teach your child how to say:
- I am sorry
- Please forgive me
- I was wrong
If your child grows up to the age where he should know about sex, don’t let him learn about it first from friends and others because they may teach him the wrong thing. Teach your child everything he needs to know about sex and reproduction, the right and wrong times to do it, and the associated dangers and benefits.
Don’t lie to your child. Make promises you can fulfill. Don’t promise something you don’t mean to do, because a child takes what you say very seriously and expect you to do it. For example, If you say, “I will buy you bread,” don’t fail to buy that bread. Above all, read the Bible with your children and teach them the ways of God. Pray for your children and bless them in all places, in the open and in private.
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