Reading improves your vocabulary
Ambition creates success
The more effort you put in
The better the outcome
There is no such thing as an overachiever
Now to Harry Rear for sports
Thank you, Cindy
Last night’s game was a really close one
I sat on the edge of my seat
The undefeated were outdone
It was a very unpleasant defeat
They sure broke a sweat
They sure were a threat
Doing what they could
And excuse my cliché
But that’s more than you can say
Though it sure would do you some good
Back to you, Cindy
Thanks, Harry
Now for your local news
You are accomplishing nothing by watching me
I am rotting your brain
You should check on dinner
Your 17 year old daughter sneaks out
Every night at 10
To see her 30 year old boyfriend
Our generation is killing itself by over consuming
And creating mass amounts of pollution
Now we’ll move on to the weather
With Tracey Stellar
Thank you, Cindy
What a beautiful December day here in the north
I can just smell the polar ice caps melting
Feel the summery warmth
Hear the birds out in full swing
Major floods have been reported
Straight across the city
Gas emissions are strongly supported
Announced the Climate Action Committee
Please drive carefully
You can’t see too far
Through the smog, lies and debris
Not to mention the smoke
From the rear of your car
You can whine and complain
You can assume and insult
But it’s simple to explain
It is your own entire fault
As for the local forecast
There is a 60% chance of acid rains today
Not to worry, the rest of the week calls for
Plenty of sun and UVA rays
Poking holes in our ozone layer
And giving us skin cancer in abundance
Also making shocking headlines
Your hummer is killing our trees
Back to you, Cindy
Thanks, Tracey
Oh! It seems we have breaking news of an arrest
Taking place in the downtown core
We have Channel 4’s Deborah Sing on location
Deborah, what is going on
Well, I’m here at the local Dairy Queen
Where police have just made a huge drug bust
Police have confiscated a combined value of
Approximately $265 000 worth
Of marijuana and cocaine
They have already made a few arrests,
One being a bald, tattooed man
Looking to be in his early 30’s
As well as a young girl
Looking to be only 16 or 17 years old
Police have not yet released any names
Stay tuned for updates and remembers
You heard it first from Channel 4
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