From childhood, I was fascinated by the grand gates of the Khrist Raja High School, one of the prestigious missionary schools of Bettiah, my home town. How could I get in? My mother cannot read or write. My father was out most of the time, on the road. I cried and pleaded, and somehow, my mother took courage and met the principal of the school. Fortune smiled. The principal agreed to admit me, reluctantly. How would I cope? I thank my mother for the courage of putting me in school and helping me remain there. Books. School fees, and uniforms were part of the struggle. Neighbours and relatives criticized my parents for trying to show off.
In school I learnt that all human beings were equal. I felt drawn towards environmental issues, cleaning the roads, planting trees. While in Class seven, we went to do social work in a Dalit village. I realised that there were children even more deprived than me. Around this time the desire grew in me to do something for people with no options and less resources. I put my feelings down in small poems, so many questions, so many dreams, but how to go and where to go with no support or direction?
In class 9, I went for a leadership training camp where I met someone who would become very close to me. He was a journalist and trainer. He told me, to do social work you cannot do it by carrying a ‘jhola’. You must equip yourself, you must study and get a degree. In the meanwhile my sister got married. My parents went into debt. In school, my principal doubted my ability to pass.
I travelled to Patna and stayed with my journalist ‘big brother’ and worked hard. I passed in the first division surprising all. Almost immediately another storm came. My relatives began pressuring my father to arrange my marriage so that the ‘dowry’ money could pay off debts. My mother helped me to ‘run away’ to Patna. There, with the help of my ‘big brother’, I convinced my father to allow me to complete my Bachelor’s degree. In the meanwhile, to pay off debts, my father sold the small plot of land and migrated to Delhi with my mother and younger brother.
In Patna, I was able to look at issues closely. My ‘big brother’ was involved with social action and I was trained in many things. HIV/AIDS and discrimination, and issues of street children and child labour were closest to my heart. I was privileged to associate with Sanat Sinha, saw the formation of Childline in Patna, and gained useful practical knowledge. Through AASRA, I got exposure to the broader picture of rights issues, and I planned, executed and took part in several small projects at city level. We taught children in slums, conducted trainings. I became a trainer for schools on HIV/AIDS in association with the Kurji holy family hospital. I took training in video production and editing. I supported myself through taking up small projects, giving tuitions and so on. I wanted to join Nirmala Niketan in Mumbai. I had tried once for BSW but could not make it. I was determined to do MSW there. It was tough, but I made it. I am convinced that the right knowledge linked with rights education and skill development for the marginalised build a strong India.
People call me obstinate and self-willed. I think I am determined. The highest point in my life so far has been meeting with the President of India. It was not a chance meeting. I had to make it possible. I wanted to travel through India on a motorbike and do a reality check of the results of so much of HIV/AIDS funding. People did not encourage me, they threw up a lot of obstacles. But a few people believed that I was sincere, and so I managed to set out on this venture. It was the novelty of my ‘mission highway’ that led the President of India to grant an almost one hour meeting with me. I believe that if you want something, you have to be brave enough to try for it, even if it means appearing ‘mad’ or ‘foolish’. What do I think of myself?
I am an ordinary person. I am not tall, dark or handsome. I am not fluent in English. I do not have many social graces. But I am willing to learn, to adapt, and to test my assumptions. I dare to dream, even if it is the impossible dream. I dream of an World where there is enough food for all people. Where nobody is discriminated against. Where there is no prejudice on caste, sex, religion, food, language. I want to be a catalyst for positive change.
HIV/AIDS for me is not a ‘health’ issue or ‘sexuality issue’. It is a development issue, because it stigmatises people, communities, occupations and it destroys the poor and the struggling. I want to remove this stigma and discrimination, but this means that the society has to become more tolerant and enlightened, not just towards HIV positive people, but to other human beings. My dream is to help build a dynamic India. Maybe it is your dream too. Just dare to make your dream come true. In the words of John Lennon “You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one”. One day you will join us. And the world will live as one.
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