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K: So Joe, because you were moving so much with your family, how did you keep a positive outlook in life looking forward what you had in your future?
J: Actually I didn’t have a positive outlook in life. I felt, you know, looking back on it, I felt bad. One thing that kept me going is my mother who protected me. She took beatings so that I didn’t have to. She hid me when she knew that my dad was looking for me. She just cared for me. I would say that first off that I’m the only son of the twelve, I have five brothers, six sisters. I’m the only one that’s not the full brother. I found out later in life that I had another father, but she knew that I was always the brunt of his drunken tirades and stuff. Easy to blame… you’re the oldest… why aren’t you doing your part? Why aren’t you this? Why aren’t you that? So she protected me a lot. I remember that well. I forgot the question.
K: Oh I was just wondering how could you keep the focus on your future? You still went to college which is really great.
J: Yes. Again because people helped me. But there were certain things that happened in my life. A couple key points in time that if you look back, I would say that was the day I made my decision not to be this way. My family would always say I was always different. I didn’t react with violence. I didn’t go out and do mean things. Some of our family members did do that. Others would steal food for the family. I would go ask if they would give it to us. Just different ways of going about the same thing, but I think I was always a little different. I was pretty feeling this was life was like. I didn’t know any others. I didn’t know friends that didn’t have the other side of the life, you know. I didn’t know any better. Our life was make it through the day in mostly hot weather and you’re either cold, hungry or just worried about life and stay away from your dad so you don’t get hurt. Get food, get whatever. Collect things to get money to buy bread for the brothers and sisters. All those things, that was kind of the life and I didn’t see anything better for the longest time. Just came a point, I don’t know if I mentioned this to you before, Evan, but I ran away from home in my senior year about half-way through and I had decided that if my dad came back that night after he had beaten my mom up real bad and I was scared to help her, and I had gone in to comfort her as she lay on the floor and my brothers and sisters were there looking at me, why aren’t you there helping? Why are you hiding in the closet? But he had hurt one of my twin sisters earlier, I have twins right below me. Then hurt my mom real bad and I made my mind up that he was never going to do that again, so I took a knife to bed and I waited. And when he came back about three in the morning, the door was locked, he knocked it off its hinges, came after me, had his belt he usually loved to hit us with that belt, and he started swinging at me while I was under the covers and I just snapped and I went after him with a knife, stabbed him many, many times and never once anywhere that got anything, though he was a bloody mess and my family ran in and jumped him and said, “Run. Run.” I ran away that day and hid in the vineyards close to where we lived for two or three days and I heard that he had gone out looking for me with a shotgun. Finally he got enough courage to go and ask for help and some friends at a local convenience store near our house called Social Services. They came and picked me up and I was put in foster care. My family was barred from coming to the school and I finished high school. I worked in the fields that summer after high school and made money to buy a bus ticket from California to Washington State and away I went. Didn’t come back for about seven years before I saw my family again. But it was a decision that I will not allow this anymore. He won’t do this anymore and I’m not going to be a victim anymore. And so that was the first time I really stood up as a man and made a decision that one, I will never drink, I will never beat a woman, I will never harm anybody that way, and I won’t live this way. And this caused me grief many times because if you’re leaving your brothers and sisters behind, they don’t understand why you’re not there for them. And I just tried not to think about it for the longest time.
K: Thanks for sharing your personal story with us, Joe.
E: So Joe, how did you actually end up in Hawaii?
J: Well that’s an interesting story. I guess I go back clear to my service in the Peace Corps in the early 70s, first in Afghanistan for two years and then Micronesia and Saipan and Mariana Islands for two years, and stayed for another six, so I became familiar with island life, Polynesian people, and it was in retrospect some of the best times I’ve ever had. But I returned to Washington State as a teacher and later as a principal of a school. I was working in North Seattle, head of a public school, pre-K through 8th grade. It was a magnet school program, multi-age, non-graded, and over that 12 years that I was there became fairly well known for educational innovations, showing that a public school can do anything that anybody else can do and that the unions won’t stand in your way and all these things. But one day I just got a call from a colleague that I knew as a consultant. And he called me up out of the blue and he said, “Could we have breakfast?” And I thought, “Okay. Sure.” Went to Denny’s and sat there for two hours while he asked me about teachers and education curriculum, teaching strategies and all this, and I found out he was a new principal at Mid-Pacific Institute in Hawaii. So I put the two-to-two together and said, “Oh. He wants the wisdom of my twelve years as a principal.” And as we were going to the parking lot and getting in the car, he says, “Oh by the way, our President’s retiring. Are you interested?” And I guess I found out then it was actually kind of a mini-interview. I said, “Well I’m not sure what a President does, but I’ll talk to my family.” He says, “If you are interested, I’d be happy to send you the materials.” They did, I applied last of six to interview, and I was offered the job before I got on the plane back to Seattle. That’s kind of how it came about.
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Writer Profile
Jay-R Patron
Jay-R Patron, 24 years old, currently works as content provider for a multinational IT consultancy firm, under its interactive marketing department.
He was a writer for Hawaii-based Greater Good Inc., a media company behind the much-acclaimed Greater Good Radio. The show promotes social entrepreneurship and servant leadership.
Jay-r is a Journalism and Communication and Media Studies graduate from the University of Southern Queensland.
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Comments
meddahi | Sep 8th, 2007
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم والصلاة والسلام على أشرف المرسلين وعلى آله وأصحابه أجمعين أما بعد .. ببعد التحية والسلام على أهل المحبة والإكرام
لقد أضفت إلى القصيدة 16بيت من الشعر أرجو أن تنال إعجابكم وبجانبي
صديقي الحميم
وهو طالب نجيب ذو قريحة قوية تعتمد على الحفظ والإستذكار
أتمنى له كل التوفيق ولكل الدارسين والدارسات آمبن
والله ولي التوفيق
الشاعر العصامي مداحي العيد هذه القصيدة من بحر الطويل 28/08/2007
قد انحــدر الدمــع من الأحـــداق ..... فـما أصـعـب الوجــد بعـد الفـراق...
لقد أرقــتـني بهـــواها في ليال قد....... عــوى الذئــبُ فيها من الإشتياق ...
فـما أعــــذب الحــبَّ إذا كان وافيا ....... تُـتـــمّهُ مكــــــــــارم الخـــلاق....
فذبت كما الشمع يذوب على ثوب......... العشيق ولـم يـدر من الإرهاق....
ولولا المحـــــبة التي ليَّـنت قلبا ........... فصارت عواطفه مثل البراق....
لكان الفؤاد كصوان الجـمادات .......... على النار يرمـــونه للإحتراق....
فأصبح من هوى الحبيبة عاطلا ......... كطــير أصـيبَ في جناح الأفاق....
فزالت عزائم الحــياة من القلب .......... تفـتَّتَ جــسم الفـتى كـالأوراق....
وما أهون الحبََّ الذي كان مبنيا ......... على النــــفع هيـّنٌ كمثل النفاق....
وما الحبُّ إلا نخلةٌ سمقت تُعطي......... لكُلّ مــن الأجــــــيال تمر المذاق.
وحر الهوى أذاب قطب المشاعر ........ كنـهـر جرت مياهه في السواقي
نمت به أشجار تــــدلت ثمارها ......... من الغصـن تـُقطـف من الإلتصاق ...
فكــيف سنشـعــر بقيمتـنا إن لم ......... نُـفـعــّلْ مــحـــــــبةً نأت بالطلاق ...
وهل ينفع العــناق إن كان قلبكَ ......... بعـــيدٌ كبعــد المشـــرقين واقي ...
إذا كان حبهم من القــلب يمكث .......... إذا بقيت أرواحــهم في الرماق ...
ونحن نحبذ المحـــبة إن كانت ........... مصـــادرها منــــابع الأشـواق...
إذا ما صفا القـــاعُ رأيتَ لآلئا ........... بريـقٌ صفــاؤها مع الماء راقي ....
لقد حيّرت بحسنها أعيُنا راغت......... إليــها بـــــــــلا رويــة كالبُــراق...
ولولا الغرام ما عرفتُ المحبة ........ التي شغــلت قــلـبا يريد التـلاقي...
فتى ً قد أصيبَ قلبُهُ من كدر الهوى...... هُمومٌ تراكمت على الأعناق...
لقد أرّقــــته أحـــــــــلامٌ تركّـبت........ من العشق إستحسانُه كالمذاق...
أتت تشتكي من شغف الحبّ قد أذى ..... مشاعرها من لوعةِ الإشتياق..
فقلتُ لها إصبري على العشق صبرا قد.....تنالين منه عـــزّةَ الأخلاق...
بكت من حرارة الجوى أدمُعا كوت ...... فؤادي ووجداني من الأعماق...
وقالت فكــيف يصبرُ القلبُ قبل أن ....... يرى القلبَ راض أمام الرفاق..
تحسرتُ باكــــيا علـيها وكـيف لا ...... تســيل دُمـــوعُنا مـن الأحداق
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