by Mbũrũ Kamau
Published on: May 3, 2007
Topic:
Type: Poetry

I have been waiting for your heart’s decision and acceptance
Hoping, waiting and full of expectations
Without opening the minute fears in me
I only waited for your heart’s secrets
To openly exercise the usual

The evening orange moon watched with its glaring eyes
All treacherous people moving here and there
To and fro
Aimlessly and vision-less
Treacherous, insincere, hurt and hopeless
All walking in the catastrophic ends
Not knowing what lay ahead in the dark alley

You and I used to shine, beaming with hopes
Ready to see the sun’s rays peeping across the skies
Beautiful watching the stars during the night
And make cloudy figures in the skies on the sunlight
Save for the naked skies

Yes, we used to tenderly and gutsy hold each other’s teardrop
As it fell down the genial cheeks,
And carry other’s loads without frown
Played games with sincerity
And never lost our conscience

We enviously held arms
Making them unease
That we became the talk of the village
Even drunkards in their carousal, mentioned us
That the devil and his demons revere us

I look back at the gone bright days, filled with silent darkness
Crouching inside our hearts, like a viper waiting to charge
At an unsuspecting child in the green grass

Now a pregnant hatred lingers
Etched deep inside us
That even the dead have gone deaf,
At the mention of me
And my little secret buried inside my heart
Only waiting for yours to confirm
That we should no longer live in distance
As it is becoming


We sat and sat, sorted and sorted
Gallantly assuring ourselves that it would never happen
And that the gap will soon disappear

I assured my heart that everything will be fine
The dark old days
Will no longer exist
Because ‘the devil was behind that’
Still I waited
For the courageous dawn to finally come

My days have gone dark, unexpected and without direction
I have over and over told my heart, to stop keeping secrets
Because I end up getting hurt
And not know what to do
As I cannot express myself out
For fear that the night be darker
Than it has

We live in fear of indifference
Looking at each other with grey eyes
Because of the secrets in our hearts
Which I am guilty of
Sometimes wondering
Is it worth?
Why should I feel that I no longer exist in you?
Only a body without a shadow moves around

Sometimes I want to tell you the secret in me
But my mind tells me, another day will come
And I foolishly listen

Why can’t your heart stop feigning about?
And say it out rightly
Its feels and pains,
That I stop living a lie

But then… am I ready to listen to yours?
And firmly stick to that
Without feeling guilt
Am I?
Surely am I?

Stop hurting me and console my agitated
Patiently waiting heart

Unending Secrets… hurting me!


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