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by Dennis Nyakundi Onguti | |
Published on: Apr 4, 2007 | |
Topic: | |
Type: Opinions | |
https://www.tigweb.org/express/panorama/article.html?ContentID=12313 | |
From the issue raised by Prince Charles (kashboy) one of our TIG member on his "friend Oke beat his girlfriend" and looking at the various responses given, i felt the need to get deeper into the subject (for now) on physical abuse and violence into depth with the hope that it will shed some light into see the gravity of the matter and probably help Oke to face why he showed such violence to his girlfriend. It may be a single incidence and the harm caused is not grave which we cannot judge him over because we understand sometimes we might be in some circumstances which make us behave inhumanly but on second thought we regret of it. Nevertheless, a wider consideration may be of importance to help Oke in case it is something deep in him. At this point, i will focus on what physical violence is and what might be its causes. In the next submission i may consider the effects and what can be done. Physical abuse and violence This form is understood as the use of physical force to control another in a way that it may end up injuring the other person or putting him or her in danger of being hurt. This ranges from the explicit physical assault, battering, physical restraint or murder. For many reasons we find a member of the family mostly the male members beating, bruising, punching, burning, choking, pinching, kicking, pushing and even stropping the female ones causing them physical injury. These are all classified as physical abuse and violence. Causes There are many different theories as to the causes of domestic violence. As with many phenomena regarding human experience, no one approach appears to cover all cases. Generally the identified causes include a need for power and control, socio-cultural influences, unresolved childhood conflicts, the stress of poverty, hostility and resentment toward women/men, substance abuse, personality disorders, among other possible causative factors. 1 Socio-Cultural Attitudes In patriarchal societies, violence and abuse relates to men’s capacity for, and their need to, devalue women. The extent to which the process of devaluation - the reduction of the other person to a thing that is nothing, to a valueless nothing, a contemptible nothing, a disposable nothing is the same extent in which one abuses and violently treats them. However there is a significant shift, some women are now abusing men in their relationships, but the underlying attitude of devaluation is the same. 2 Poverty Increase in violence is linked to lack of financial resources which renders innocent, and vulnerable members of the family deprived and oppressed and consequently injustices and violence vented against them. The degree to which abuse correlates with poverty, and the extent to which poverty causes abuse are ambiguous. However, studies show that in low-income families and relationships violence is high. This does not necessarily confirm that violence is more prevalent among poor families than wealthier ones, only that the population most readily available for study is predominantly low-income. This leads us to the next cause. 3 Financial disputes The commonest cause of violence is misunderstanding resulting from money matters. Financial disputes heighten marital tensions and the possible violence. In many forums, we hear women who have been abused for attempting to secure food and clothing for themselves and the children or requesting greater allowance or reproaching their spouses for misuse of finances. In some situations where women have secured legal rights on ownership, management and dispose of property it would mean that the man has to use the ultimate authority on his side, sometimes physical force to obtain compliance from his spouse to his wishes. 4 Power and control In many situations violence is charged as a strategy to gain or maintain power and control over the victim. The perpetrator wants to possess power over his or her target. Alternatively, the abuse may arise from the feeling of powerlessness of the aggressor leading to attempts to project their powerlessness into exercise of control of the victim. Such behaviors become addictive fueling further cycle of abuse or violence. Mutual cycles develop when each party attempts to resolve their own powerlessness in attempting to assert control. 5. Male privilege Wife-beating in some cultures favoring the male gender is considered a disciplinary measure for the man to govern his family. In this way any harsh treatment of the wife is not in any way associated with violence. With this kind of attitude men grow knowing that to discipline their female counterparts or to resolve a problem, a man should use physical force. The men are not favoured either as violence against them is kept silent and further perpetuated since it is inconceivable for a man to claim a victim of violence or abuse from a woman. 6 The cycle of violence It is true without exaggeration that children who have been brought up in violent environments like families or schools, they themselves become abusive adults and the cycle goes on. When violence in the family setup becomes a way of life and perfectly normal to resolve issues, it is identified that even on simple disagreements, members tend to use excessive force. Having lost the feeling of empathy, people from abusive and violent families tend to use violence in almost all spheres of their lives, domestic, social, political etc. 7 Substance and alcohol abuse With regard to alcohol consumption, there is drinking habits that are of social nature, while other habits are the heavy and intolerable. It is more likely that partners or rather family members who are heavy drinker and habitual substance abuser exhibit violent behavior. When we meet aggressor, it is of importance to really dig down to know why they act the way they do. Then can more favourable intervention be presented to them which will be of much help especially to reform them. I normally say, any aggressive behaviour directed to me is a cry for help from my aggressor. When i sometimes exhibit violent behavior and i sit down reflect and laugh at myself and i look stupid. Whoever is aggressive feel the same only they have no one to help them surface it and move beyond their situation. Me and you can do something to help them. « return. |