TakingITGlobal - Panorama - The Importance of...

Published on: Feb 1, 2007

Topic:

Type: Opinions

https://www.tigweb.org/express/panorama/article.html?ContentID=10523

When I was a student at university, I used to dwell upon a two-tiered view of communication. As a journalism student, I was a proponent of effective communication—that every word must be and should be conveyed in its true and factual sense in a form that is easily understood. To do this, one needed to learn a structure based on brevity and conciseness, favoring immediacy and the ability to put the message across in its simplest form. More importantly in journalism, the underlying feature of communication is objectivity.

On the other hand, I was also a Communication and Media Studies student, where I learned the different theories of communication—how it is used, through the media, to shape the minds of the greater population. The course expresses a contextual approach to communication, that every text should be read differently depending on the overall situation of the 5W’s and 1H. On a lesser extent, through this, I surmised that no matter what mode or medium, communication would suffice as long as the message was put across and understood by the receiver, regardless of its efficacy.

Now that I’m no longer a student, I don’t think about these kinds of issues anymore.

But I vouch for the importance of communication in building and maintaining relationships… although, come to think of it, there seems to be no other way to build and maintain relationships. Last Saturday, my older brother hosted a party for his office mates at our place. I invited a long-time friend to come, and I would not have done so if we did not bump in to her that Wednesday prior. It was a great night of scrumptious dishes (courtesy of my mom), thirst-quenching drinks, and of course, what’s a party without the alcohol. Relentless video-oke performances and card games entertained everyone that night. The gathering was not the best we’ve ever had at home, but it was still fun and exciting.

My friend decided to stay when all the other guests had gone home passed midnight. The two-man clean-up committee, headed by my brother and sister, was busy packing up while she and I were at the living room having a conversation. Moments later my two older siblings joined us, six seconds later they retreated to their respective rooms. And we were there… alone again.

I knew she wanted to talk, but she didn’t know how to start. I mean why would she stay instead of calling it a night and go home? Initially, we talked about the how things have been in the last six years. We lost contact with each other when we reached college, although we bump onto one another from time to time, and there was text messaging which established the vicarious presence. That night was the first time since senior high school that we had that level of exchange of words. Ultimately, I was able to get it out of her. She was anxious, didn’t know where to go. She was stuck in a quagmire with law school as the main culprit for this conundrum. She felt that it was getting on the way of what she really wanted to do with her life. I told her it was her choice in the first place and that it would be such a waste to back down now that she was in her second year. Besides, she would be able to help more people if she had a law degree than if she decided to step down now and pursue her philanthropic endeavors… something in line with the concept of leverage that Evan and the other guests talk about.

The conversation shifted from serious to the more trivial through the hours. The topics touched everything from friends, current hobbies, future plans etc. Eventually, what would seem like an issue that many would avoid was tackled… we talked about ‘us’… at least our past. I met her in 1997 when the family was on a vacation back here in the Philippines, my dad was based in Hong Kong then and we lived with him there, except my older bro who was in college that time. She was a good friend of my brother’s girlfriend then. I got to know her better over time. We exchanged emails from time to time when I was in HK. The family went back to the PI in 1999; I was in senior high. Our close proximity and endless supply of common friends paved way for a strong bond. She and I became really close. I was truly comfortable with our friendship but deep inside I knew I wanted to be ‘steady’ with her… in a way I was pursuing her, yet I know I was at the losing end. She taught me a lot of things from being less uptight to dealing with strict parents.

I knew I had to do something about my way towards her. The imminent end of high school, I thought, would also be the end of our tight connection. One day, I proposed to her about being steady… through text message. That was the lamest of lame that a guy could ever do to a girl he liked. Only last Saturday did I know that she felt frustrated about that action of mine… she felt “cheap”, based on her own words. But we were laughing about how pathetic and childish that was, yet deep inside I felt sorry for myself—I thought, “What if I had not done that? Would there have been a chance that the two of us become one?”

Deep in the confines of my soul, that Sunday morning, July 16th, I felt that our friendship has been stepped up one notch. Despite the lack of communication for so many years, I knew then that she would always be a good friend of mine. That she could count on me, and that I could run to her, just like things were back in high school. Concluding the exchange of views, I asked, “What if we became steady? Will it still be ‘us’ today? Would we still be friends if things had not worked out?” I guess things happen for a reason… and that no regret should ever come to whatever action…or inaction a person holds to him/herself. We slept in the living room at 5am.

That morning I was told off by my parents for not letting her sleep in the guest room.

That occasion is one of the many that reinforces the value that I have put upon face-to-face communication. It’s not that I find technology a hindrance; in fact, I do praise the recent advances in communication. Without it, I would never be in touch with many of my friends and relatives who live out-country; and more importantly, I would not be working for Greater Good Radio. I can relate so much to what Retired Navy Captain Jerry Coffee has mentioned about communication. Without it, many of them would not have survived the horror as a POW. And then he mentions about exchanging emails with his wife, all the while being in the same room with her. I don’t see anything wrong with it, I mean even I exchange messages with the guy next to me here at work when we could have just faced each other and talked. The crux is that nothing beats traditional, interpersonal, face-to-face communication. Besides, 90 per cent of all communication exchanges are made through body language.

And then I am placed in this seemingly sad (I’m referring to myself as sad, candidly) circumstance where I have no other choice but to talk to this person through IM. And there’s so much to say but left unsaid because I believe that conveying them online is inappropriate. I try to keep myself cool about it, besides there still a lot to know about her. That’s why every time she’s in town I make it a point to see her, and I’m thankful that she has made time for it. But for now, I guess I have to make do with what is available… and again I’m thankful that at least I get to talk to her from time to time albeit impersonal. For now that suffices… for now.

« return.



by Jay-R Patron
Published on: Feb 1, 2007
Topic:
Type: Opinions
https://www.tigweb.org/express/panorama/article.html?ContentID=10523


When I was a student at university, I used to dwell upon a two-tiered view of communication. As a journalism student, I was a proponent of effective communication—that every word must be and should be conveyed in its true and factual sense in a form that is easily understood. To do this, one needed to learn a structure based on brevity and conciseness, favoring immediacy and the ability to put the message across in its simplest form. More importantly in journalism, the underlying feature of communication is objectivity. On the other hand, I was also a Communication and Media Studies student, where I learned the different theories of communication—how it is used, through the media, to shape the minds of the greater population. The course expresses a contextual approach to communication, that every text should be read differently depending on the overall situation of the 5W’s and 1H. On a lesser extent, through this, I surmised that no matter what mode or medium, communication would suffice as long as the message was put across and understood by the receiver, regardless of its efficacy. Now that I’m no longer a student, I don’t think about these kinds of issues anymore. But I vouch for the importance of communication in building and maintaining relationships… although, come to think of it, there seems to be no other way to build and maintain relationships. Last Saturday, my older brother hosted a party for his office mates at our place. I invited a long-time friend to come, and I would not have done so if we did not bump in to her that Wednesday prior. It was a great night of scrumptious dishes (courtesy of my mom), thirst-quenching drinks, and of course, what’s a party without the alcohol. Relentless video-oke performances and card games entertained everyone that night. The gathering was not the best we’ve ever had at home, but it was still fun and exciting. My friend decided to stay when all the other guests had gone home passed midnight. The two-man clean-up committee, headed by my brother and sister, was busy packing up while she and I were at the living room having a conversation. Moments later my two older siblings joined us, six seconds later they retreated to their respective rooms. And we were there… alone again. I knew she wanted to talk, but she didn’t know how to start. I mean why would she stay instead of calling it a night and go home? Initially, we talked about the how things have been in the last six years. We lost contact with each other when we reached college, although we bump onto one another from time to time, and there was text messaging which established the vicarious presence. That night was the first time since senior high school that we had that level of exchange of words. Ultimately, I was able to get it out of her. She was anxious, didn’t know where to go. She was stuck in a quagmire with law school as the main culprit for this conundrum. She felt that it was getting on the way of what she really wanted to do with her life. I told her it was her choice in the first place and that it would be such a waste to back down now that she was in her second year. Besides, she would be able to help more people if she had a law degree than if she decided to step down now and pursue her philanthropic endeavors… something in line with the concept of leverage that Evan and the other guests talk about. The conversation shifted from serious to the more trivial through the hours. The topics touched everything from friends, current hobbies, future plans etc. Eventually, what would seem like an issue that many would avoid was tackled… we talked about ‘us’… at least our past. I met her in 1997 when the family was on a vacation back here in the Philippines, my dad was based in Hong Kong then and we lived with him there, except my older bro who was in college that time. She was a good friend of my brother’s girlfriend then. I got to know her better over time. We exchanged emails from time to time when I was in HK. The family went back to the PI in 1999; I was in senior high. Our close proximity and endless supply of common friends paved way for a strong bond. She and I became really close. I was truly comfortable with our friendship but deep inside I knew I wanted to be ‘steady’ with her… in a way I was pursuing her, yet I know I was at the losing end. She taught me a lot of things from being less uptight to dealing with strict parents. I knew I had to do something about my way towards her. The imminent end of high school, I thought, would also be the end of our tight connection. One day, I proposed to her about being steady… through text message. That was the lamest of lame that a guy could ever do to a girl he liked. Only last Saturday did I know that she felt frustrated about that action of mine… she felt “cheap”, based on her own words. But we were laughing about how pathetic and childish that was, yet deep inside I felt sorry for myself—I thought, “What if I had not done that? Would there have been a chance that the two of us become one?” Deep in the confines of my soul, that Sunday morning, July 16th, I felt that our friendship has been stepped up one notch. Despite the lack of communication for so many years, I knew then that she would always be a good friend of mine. That she could count on me, and that I could run to her, just like things were back in high school. Concluding the exchange of views, I asked, “What if we became steady? Will it still be ‘us’ today? Would we still be friends if things had not worked out?” I guess things happen for a reason… and that no regret should ever come to whatever action…or inaction a person holds to him/herself. We slept in the living room at 5am. That morning I was told off by my parents for not letting her sleep in the guest room. That occasion is one of the many that reinforces the value that I have put upon face-to-face communication. It’s not that I find technology a hindrance; in fact, I do praise the recent advances in communication. Without it, I would never be in touch with many of my friends and relatives who live out-country; and more importantly, I would not be working for Greater Good Radio. I can relate so much to what Retired Navy Captain Jerry Coffee has mentioned about communication. Without it, many of them would not have survived the horror as a POW. And then he mentions about exchanging emails with his wife, all the while being in the same room with her. I don’t see anything wrong with it, I mean even I exchange messages with the guy next to me here at work when we could have just faced each other and talked. The crux is that nothing beats traditional, interpersonal, face-to-face communication. Besides, 90 per cent of all communication exchanges are made through body language. And then I am placed in this seemingly sad (I’m referring to myself as sad, candidly) circumstance where I have no other choice but to talk to this person through IM. And there’s so much to say but left unsaid because I believe that conveying them online is inappropriate. I try to keep myself cool about it, besides there still a lot to know about her. That’s why every time she’s in town I make it a point to see her, and I’m thankful that she has made time for it. But for now, I guess I have to make do with what is available… and again I’m thankful that at least I get to talk to her from time to time albeit impersonal. For now that suffices… for now. « return.